Tonart: Bb major
Verse 1
A
D
I once met a man who said he was a fan
A
He wanted to sing in my shanty band
D
But the bottom of his face looked
weird (so weird!)
There was skin on his chin that I
loathed and feared
From his crown to ear he was
most sincere
But you can't sing shanties
if you got no beard
G
D
Got no beard, you've got no
Verse 2
beard
A
You can't sing shanties if
G
D
Got no beard, you've got no beard
A
You can't sing shanties
Verse 3
D
I once met a girl who heard sea songs
and she sang along
D
But the timing of the shout
was slow (so slow!)
She was graced with a face
like the morning glow
But a hollar was a blow from the
very front row said
You can't sing shanties if you
can't shout "Ho!"
Verse 4
"Ho!" you
A
You can't sing shanties if you
A
You can't sing shanties if you
And you've got no beard
Verse 5
A
D
I once met a man on a weird machine
Had wheels and a bell,
C#
He was shouting from a pad of
A
And the wheels got caught
on his overcoat
And he fell from the pier
clawing at his throat
D
So you can't sing shanties if
you don't own a boat
Verse 6
D
a boat, you don't own a boat
A
You can't sing shanties if you
A
D
You can't sing shanties if
you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"
Verse 7
And you've got no beard
D
I once met a bloke on a tavern floor
He'd had ten beers,
but I had ten more
And his piggy little face
was pink (so pink!)
He tried to shout the words,
but t'were all out of sync
With a voice so bad it'll
make you think that
You can't sing shanties if you
E
D
Can't hold your drink, you can't hold
Verse 8
D
a drink
A
You can't sing shanties if you
You can't hold a drink you
A
You can't sing shanties if you
And you don't own a boat
And you can't shout "Ho!"
Verse 9
And you've got no beard
D
A
D
I once met a sailor all big and broad
With an eye- patch,
parrot and a long curved sword
Had a chest like a powder
keg (big chest)
But he had both shoes,
and he smelled like eggs
I expect he would look better
with a wooden peg
'Cause you can't sing
A
shanties if you got two legs
G
D
Got two legs, you've got two
Verse 10
legs
A
You can't sing shanties if
you've got two legs
G
D
Got two legs, you've got two legs
A
You can't sing shanties
if you've got two legs
D
A
And you can't hold your drink
D
And you don't own a boat
Eb
And you can't shout "Ho!"
D
And you've got no beard
Verse 11
A
D
Well, Anna's got no beard
And Dave, he has a bike
E
D
Robbie's father- in- law has boats,
but won't sing on the mic
And JD can't shout "Ho!" because
his wife takes much offense
G
D
A
And Andy's got two beautiful hairy legs
D
A
But there's no reason good
F#m
E
So sing along with the very
A
Gdim
A
last chorus
Verse 12
A
four
G
D
Got no beard, you've got no beard
A
You can't sing shanties if
you've got no beard
G
D
Got no beard, you've got no beard
A
You can't sing shanties if
D
Got no beard, you've got no beard
A
Bb
You can't sing shanties if
D
G
you've got no beard
G#
D
Got no beard, you've got no
Verse 13
beard
A
You can't sing shanties
E
And you've got two legs
Eb
And you can't hold your drink
And you don't own a boat
D
And you can't shout "Ho!"
E
A
D
D
And you've got no beard
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