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Ivor Biggun
Ivor Biggun
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Tonart: G major
Intro 1
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Gm
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Eb
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At
Verse 1
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the appliance shop,
I bought a filthy book,
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Locked in the lav,
I had a bloody good look.
There was a naked nude lady
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and a man dressed the same,
Doing something very rude
with a funny foreign name.
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I think it was called Ferretilio,
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which is Spanish for blowing a bugle.
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I went round to me girlfriend's house,
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but she said, Oh, that's not very nice,
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and I don't want to know.
So I tactfully said,
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forget that it's a cock,
Pretend you're at the seaside,
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and it's a stick of rock.
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Cm

Eb
Eb

Cm
Cm

Gm
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But she said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
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Eb

Gm
Gm

Ab
Ab

I could never,
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never do a filthy thing like that.
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Bdim
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Cm
Cm

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Eb

Gm
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She said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
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Ab

I could never,
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Db

Bb
Bb

Bdim
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never do a filthy thing like that.
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Cm

Gm
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Ab
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She said it was called Ferratilorainio,
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and was named after an
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Eb
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Italian racing driver.
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Well, I filled her up with whiskey
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and I filled her up with gin
but she still wouldn't do it
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cos she said it was a sin.
I even had a bath,
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but the answer was the same
she wouldn't do the thing
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with the funny foreign name.
It was called something
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like ferret in the ruleo.
I said it'd protect her from tonsillitis
but she wouldn't swallow that.
Cm
Cm

Eb
Eb

Gm
Gm

She said, no, no, no, that's flat.
Eb
Eb

Gm
Gm

Ab
Ab

I could never,
Db
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never do a filthy thing like that.
Bb
Bb

Cm
Cm

Eb
Eb

Cm
Cm

Gm
Gm

She said, No, no, no, no, that's flat.
Eb
Eb

Ab
Ab

I could never,
Db
Db

Bb
Bb

never do a filthy thing like that
Next day a man in a hat
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Eb

Bb
Bb

came knocking at the door
He said, You've earned the pause,
half a million or more
With the cheque in me pocket
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to me girlfriend's house
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Bb

Eb
Eb

I ran to see if she was still a vegetarian
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I said, did she remember
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what a silly girl she'd been
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Eb
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About the sword swallowing
in that funny magazine
I said, would she refuse me
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and treat me with disdain
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Bb
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Regarding the activity
with the funny foreign knight
Cm
Cm

Eb
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Gm
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But she said, no, no, no, no, that's flat
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Eb

Ab
Ab

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I could never refuse to do a thing like that
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Cm
Cm

Eb
Eb

Gm
Gm

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She said, no, no, no, no, that's flat
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Ab

I could never refuse to do
Db
Db

Bb
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a thing like that
Yum, yum, yum!
Ha ha ha!
Yum, yum, yum!
Dm
Dm

BELLS CHIMING PIANO PLAYS
Eb
Eb

F
F

Mr Falleggio, the ice -cream man.
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Bb

Dm
Dm

Hear him jingle -jangle
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Eb

F
F

Bb
Bb

Mr. Fel
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latio,
Dm
Dm

Eb
Eb

Bb
Bb

Db
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all the children say hello to Mr. Fel latio,
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Eb

F
F

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the Ice Cream Man.
Badoom, badoom, badoom, bam!
That's where Trump's coming!
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Dm

And then he's got Ronettes,
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and Jordanaires,
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and Street Section,
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Dm
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and Philborough Colliery Band!
Oh, it's going to be great!
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Eb

It's going to be wonderful!
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F

Absolutely wonderful!
Can't wait, lads!
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Oh, it's going to be bloody great!

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