Tonart: Eb major
Intro 1
B
G#m
B
G#m
B
G#m
B
E
G#m
Verse 1
G#m
All the seats at the Sunday masses
B
Filled with the masses' massive
asses
B
Classes pass as fast as molasses
E
B
Ceremonial reading glasses
G#m
Read a little bit of Leviticus
B
All the kids are a little too little for this
B
B
All the parents nod in agreement
E
B
I think I can vaguely see what He meant
G#m
E
G#m
It's too early in the morning, glory
B
To read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
B
E
Assuring the assured that they
G#m
need not bother
When God, in verse forty-five
B
Said Said that slaves are okay to buy
C#
B
He meant that people all from the start
E
Each have 'slaves' within their
B
hearts
G#m
Things that we have sold or bought
B
That are forced to pick our
moral cotton
B
God calls us to set these free
E
B
Free our hearts from slavery
G#m
And then as God goes on to explain
B
The logistics of buying and
selling slaves
E
B
Uh, he, the bible's sorta like uh,
there's like, typos
G#m
In the back, I sit and I nod
B
To the beats that are bumping
from my iPod
B
My God they're starting to pray
E
B
G#m
And over the music I can hear them say
Dear God, dear Lord,
B
dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
G#m
Dear good all seeing being
B
My way or the highway Yahweh
G#m
B
G#m
The blue balled anti-masturbator
B
The great all-loving faggot faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might
E
B
For making me both rich and white
G#m
And though this is your day of rest
B
I come to you with one request
There's so much pain
B
beyond this steeple
E
B
Wars and drugs and homeless people
G#m
Sadness where there should be joy
B
Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
C#
B
A world in darkness needs your light
E
So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
G#m
But my dog just had surgery
B
If you could fix that first?
B
E
Jeses
B
De borah
Verse 2
Messing's fingers
G#m
in a holy place
B
Hail Mary full of Grace
B
E
B
G#m
Obama could you pass
some hope to the Pope
B
I know a couple dudes
who wanna elope
See the church said nope
G#m
so the bros can't cope
E
The bros can grope but the
B
bros can't cope
G#m
They've been in love and
they've been addicted
B
Who said they shouldn't,
Benedict did
'Cause in the holy land of the Lord
He's the holy landlord
And dicks are evicted
'Cause you can be a Benedict
G#m
B
If you've been a dick
under Benedict
C#
B
But you can't have Benedicts
E
Because there's only one pope
B
And only one dick
G#m
B
G#m
What, yeah, a dick on a pope is
B
Just like a soap on a rope
'Cause it's pointless,
B
unless in prison
Throw up your bibles,
Christ has risen
Hallelujah, now it's raining men
G#m
B
Because the gender ratio
C#
is one to ten
B
Winos at the Eucharist station,
E
trans-gendered-substantiation
B
G#m
Jesus Je sus Jesus
wasn't the Messiah
B
Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
B
It was Oedipus those holy nights
E
The holy motherfucking christ
B
G#m
I'm a blasphemah
Post-Katrina
B
Cruising the marina
On a crusade to cruise aids
E
And blast FEMA
You're too late,
B
we're fucked we don't need ya
Verse 3
Amen, in the name of the father,
son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
E
B
Turn up your nose, strike that pose
Outro 1
Hey Macarena
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Akkorde & SongtexteB G#m E C#
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