Tonart: Eb major
Intro 1
Ab
Fm
Ab
Fm
Ab
Fm
Ab
Db
Fm
Verse 1
Fm
All the seats at the Sunday masses
Ab
Filled with the masses' massive
asses
Ab
Classes pass as fast as molasses
Db
Ab
Ceremonial reading glasses
Fm
Read a little bit of Leviticus
Ab
All the kids are a little too little for this
Ab
Ab
All the parents nod in agreement
Db
Ab
I think I can vaguely see what He meant
Fm
Db
Fm
It's too early in the morning, glory
Ab
To read another allegory story
The father reads a little bit farther
Ab
Db
Assuring the assured that they
Fm
need not bother
When God, in verse forty-five
Ab
Said Said that slaves are okay to buy
Bb
Ab
He meant that people all from the start
Db
Each have 'slaves' within their
Ab
hearts
Fm
Things that we have sold or bought
Ab
That are forced to pick our
moral cotton
Ab
God calls us to set these free
Db
Ab
Free our hearts from slavery
Fm
And then as God goes on to explain
Ab
The logistics of buying and
selling slaves
Db
Ab
Uh, he, the bible's sorta like uh,
there's like, typos
Fm
In the back, I sit and I nod
Ab
To the beats that are bumping
from my iPod
Ab
My God they're starting to pray
Db
Ab
Fm
And over the music I can hear them say
Dear God, dear Lord,
Ab
dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
Fm
Dear good all seeing being
Ab
My way or the highway Yahweh
Fm
Ab
Fm
The blue balled anti-masturbator
Ab
The great all-loving faggot faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy might
Db
Ab
For making me both rich and white
Fm
And though this is your day of rest
Ab
I come to you with one request
There's so much pain
Ab
beyond this steeple
Db
Ab
Wars and drugs and homeless people
Fm
Sadness where there should be joy
Ab
Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
Bb
Ab
A world in darkness needs your light
Db
So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight
Fm
But my dog just had surgery
Ab
If you could fix that first?
Ab
Db
Jeses
Ab
De borah
Verse 2
Messing's fingers
Fm
in a holy place
Ab
Hail Mary full of Grace
Ab
Db
Ab
Fm
Obama could you pass
some hope to the Pope
Ab
I know a couple dudes
who wanna elope
See the church said nope
Fm
so the bros can't cope
Db
The bros can grope but the
Ab
bros can't cope
Fm
They've been in love and
they've been addicted
Ab
Who said they shouldn't,
Benedict did
'Cause in the holy land of the Lord
He's the holy landlord
And dicks are evicted
'Cause you can be a Benedict
Fm
Ab
If you've been a dick
under Benedict
Bb
Ab
But you can't have Benedicts
Db
Because there's only one pope
Ab
And only one dick
Fm
Ab
Fm
What, yeah, a dick on a pope is
Ab
Just like a soap on a rope
'Cause it's pointless,
Ab
unless in prison
Throw up your bibles,
Christ has risen
Hallelujah, now it's raining men
Fm
Ab
Because the gender ratio
Bb
is one to ten
Ab
Winos at the Eucharist station,
Db
trans-gendered-substantiation
Ab
Fm
Jesus Je sus Jesus
wasn't the Messiah
Ab
Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
Ab
It was Oedipus those holy nights
Db
The holy motherfucking christ
Ab
Fm
I'm a blasphemah
Post-Katrina
Ab
Cruising the marina
On a crusade to cruise aids
Db
And blast FEMA
You're too late,
Ab
we're fucked we don't need ya
Verse 3
Amen, in the name of the father,
son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
Db
Ab
Turn up your nose, strike that pose
Outro 1
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