The Underworld Of Ralph MacKenzie Akkorde von
Matthew Strachan
Matthew Strachan

N/A
Tonart: D major
Verse 1
Bm
Bm

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And now, Telmar Productions,
in association with Joe Daniels Burger,
present the underworld of Ralph McKenzie,
F
F

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E
E

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D
D

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Bb
Bb

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F
F

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G
G

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C
C

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Bb
Bb

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Private Dick.
F#
F#

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Gm
Gm

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G
G

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A
A

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E
E

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Esus4
Esus4

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I might as well tell you now,
my life ain't no holiday cruise.
E
E

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You get a pretty weird kind of clientele
in detective work,
Esus4
Esus4

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or my kind of detective work.
Em
Em

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G
G

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Life can often be messy
Em
Em

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and unpredictable,
Edim
Edim

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Gm
Gm

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but then that's the way it goes.
Edim
Edim

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F#
F#

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E
E

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Take last week for instance,
I get a call from this babe
A
A

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A#
A#

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by the name of Janet.
A
A

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Esus4
Esus4

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A#
A#

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Bm
Bm

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Hello, Mr. McKenzie,
D
D

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Esus4
Esus4

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can you help me please?
A#
A#

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Bdim
Bdim

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I'm in trouble.
Bm
Bm

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E
E

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So, I ask her the problem,
Bm
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E
E

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and she stammers out this story.
G
G

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She was a nervous kind of a chick,
Em
Em

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you know the type.
Edim
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G
G

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She talks about some hoot
Gm
Gm

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she gets involved with,
name of Martirelli.
E
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F#
F#

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Bm
Bm

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And I think, Victor Martirelli,
D
D

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G
G

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Bm
Bm

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the dealer with a price on his head.
E
E

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Bm
Bm

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Mac, he's the guy with
Esus4
Esus4

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D
D

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the keen private eye
E
E

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And he's the man with the plan
to wipe out skeezy crime
Em
Em

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G
G

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Cos he's the dick with the tricks,
Em
Em

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so watch out if you lie
E
E

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Bm
Bm

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Because he's rough and he's tough
E
E

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and he's not afraid to
D
D

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A#
A#

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C
C

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Bb
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Gb
Gb

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die
F
F

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Now get this, apparently Jane,
or Janet
or whatever her name is
had gone downtown with Victor
to this club called the Velvet Glove.
Fsus4
Fsus4

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Eb
Eb

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You see, he stood for hours over
Fsus4
Fsus4

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in a corner somewhere,
Eb
Eb

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drinking with these two guys
Fsus4
Fsus4

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Eb
Eb

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in long leather coats and gold chains,
Fsus4
Fsus4

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Eb
Eb

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smoking big ci garettes.
Fm
Fm

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Abm
Abm

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Ab
Ab

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She sure was an innocent babe,
this chick.
Fm
Fm

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Anyhow, this is where it starts
Ab
Ab

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to get a little juicier.
Eb
Eb

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Fm
Fm

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These guys,
Ab
Ab

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apparently unaware of Jane,
Fsus4
Fsus4

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I'm sorry, Janet,
begin to argue with Victor about money.
Well, actually, that's twenty grand,
Eb
Eb

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to be exact.
F
F

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Hey, come on, man,
it's just a minor slip -up, you know?
B
B

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Gbm
Gbm

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No, Victor, not this time.
F
F

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Hey, hey, come on,
Fm
Fm

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give me a break here, huh?
F
F

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Ab
Ab

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You can't fuck with us like this, Victor.
Fm
Fm

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E
E

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Christ, just give me another
B
B

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Ab
Ab

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twenty -four hours.
Fm
Fm

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F
F

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Fm
Fm

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Sorry, man, time's up.
G
G

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Kiss you goodbye,
Eb
Eb

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Bb
Bb

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Fm
Fm

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Matarelli.
Fsus4
Fsus4

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Eb
Eb

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Mack, he's the guy with the
Fsus4
Fsus4

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Eb
Eb

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keen private eye
F
F

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And he's the man with the plan
to wipe out skeezy crime
Fm
Fm

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Ab
Ab

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Cause he's the dick with the tricks,
Fm
Fm

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so watch out if you lie
F
F

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Because he's rough and he's tough
Eb
Eb

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F
F

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and he's not afraid to
Eb
Eb

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F
F

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Eb
Eb

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B
B

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C#
C#

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B
B

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G
G

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die
F#
F#

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F#m
F#m

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Okay, so I'll get to the point.
F#
F#

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Obviously, Janet is in fear for her life
after being clocked
as a witness to this terrible crime.
F#m
F#m

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But before I can help out,
she just hot -foots it.
So, being just a little suspicious,
F#
F#

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I happen to go down to the Velvet Glove
to do some snoopin'.
And what do I see?
F#m
F#m

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I see Janet dancing
C#m
C#m

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with these two guys
E
E

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F#m
F#m

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E
E

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in leather jackets and gold chains.
F#
F#

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Well, naturally, I begin to smell Furman.
F#m
F#m

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B
B

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F#m
F#m

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But now for the really snazzy part.
She gets a look at me
and pulls a weapon.
E
E

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All kinds of shit starts go ing down,
F#m
F#m

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and I end up struggling on the floor
F#
F#

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with her for the piece.
F#m
F#m

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G
G

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And her wig comes off.
Gm
Gm

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Ah, Victor Martorelli!
One and the same.
G
G

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The whole thing was a set -up.
Victor had to clear his name,
Gm
Gm

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and to top it all,
he'd got into the cross -dressing scene
and wanted a new life for himself
with the velvet glove.
But he made one big mistake.
G
G

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Db
Db

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Dm
Dm

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Ralph McKenzie
Gm
Gm

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knows a good broad
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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F
F

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Gm
Gm

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when he sees one.
So, I guess the moral of this tale,
if there is one,
would be that here in the underworld,
nothing is quite as it seems.
Who can you trust?
G
G

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Can you trust me?
Gm
Gm

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You better keep looking over
G
G

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Gm
Gm

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your shoulder.
G
G

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You never know when time's up for you,
too.
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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Gsus4
Gsus4

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Matt, he's the guy with the key,
F
F

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private eye
G
G

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And he's the man with
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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the plan to wipe out
Dm
Dm

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Says he cried cos he's
Gm
Gm

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Bb
Bb

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the dick with the tricks
Gm
Gm

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So watch out if you lie
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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Because he's rough and he's tough
G
G

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And he's not afraid to die
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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Because he's mad, he's the guy
Gsus4
Gsus4

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Dm
Dm

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with the keen private eye
G
G

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And he's the man with the
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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plan to wipe out
Sazing Prime
Dm
Dm

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Gm
Gm

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Bb
Bb

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Cause he's the dick with the tricks,
Dm
Dm

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Gm
Gm

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so watch out if you lie
Dm
Dm

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G
G

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Dm
Dm

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Because he's rough and he's tough
G
G

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Dm
Dm

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and he's not afraid to die
G
G

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Outro 1
F
F

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Db
Db

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Eb
Eb

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Db
Db

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A
A

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G
G

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