Toolbag ted from birkenhead Akkorde von
Ivor Biggun
Ivor Biggun

N/A1 Aufrufe
Tonart: G major
Verse 1
G
G

D
D

G
G

I
always have been handy,
Am
Am

I did a bit of do it myself
G
G

D
D

Until it knackered my eyesight and
G
G

compromised my health
Then a geezer popped his napper,
Am
Am

over the garden wall
G
G

D
D

"Good day", he said "My name is Ted
G
G

Can I be of any help at all?"
Verse 2
Em
Em

Bm
Bm

Well I should have said, "No ta,
Em
Em

no thanks, no probs"
But instead I told 'im all
A
A

D
D

my little jobs
C
C

Bm
Bm

An' now he's round my house
D
D

A
A

D
D

as soon as I walk out my door
G
G

Rippin' my missuses drawer's out
and banging on the bedroom floor
Verse 3
G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

He's Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead,
G
G

Bm
Bm

C
C

the randy handy man
D
D

He walks in when I walk out
G
G

And does a bloody sight better
D
D

than ever I can
G
G

When a lady says "I'm desperate
Am
Am

D
D

An' only your spanner will do"
G
G

Bm
Bm

Old Ted he seems to understand
C
C

G
G

Bm
Bm

He bolts 'round at their command
G
G

Am
Am

G
G

With his nuts held tightly in his hand
C
C

D
D

Rub rub, hammer hammer,
G
G

bang, screw
Interlude 1
G
G

Verse 4
G
G

Where does he get the energy?
Am
Am

How can he manage it all?
D
D

He flashes all around the chimney
Bm
Bm

G
G

He hammers up and down the hall
If a lady's got a problem
Am
Am

That's been troubling her all day
A
A

D
D

An expert prod with his
G
G

dyno- rod
D
D

G
G

And the problem goes away
Em
Em

Bm
Bm

Mi- ssis Brown she called him
on the phone
Em
Em

"Oh please come round my
A
A

D
D

husbands not at home..."
Am
Am

He re- arranged her portico
D
D

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

G
G

And banged her beam all day
Stripping her chimney breast out
And sticking in his R.S.J.
Verse 5
G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

He's Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead,
C
C

Bm
Bm

the randy handy- man
C
C

D
D

No job too big, no job too small
G
G

He'll be there whenever he can
Am
Am

And if a damsel in distress
G
G

D
D

says "What am I to do?"
G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

He services her every need
C
C

G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

With charm, discretion, tact and speed
G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

And satisfaction guaranteed
C
C

D
D

G
G

Rub rub, hammer hammer, bang, screw
Verse 6
Em
Em

Look at that easy action!
Look at that grace and style!
As a general rule his expert tool
Makes all the ladies smile
He's pulling out his plunger
And pumping fit to burst
In the capable hands of
Toolbag Ted
G
G

The customer comes first
D
D

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

D
D

Verse 7
C
C

D
D

G
G

A
A

This merry Merseysider is always
Am
Am

making housecalls
D
D

The ladies ring his number and this
G
G

randy handy scouse calls
Some husbands do not like it when he
Am
Am

does what he does best
D
D

Bm
Bm

But most let him get on with it,
D
D

G
G

they're grateful for the rest
Em
Em

And aren't you glad,
Bm
Bm

when an ex pert comes to call
Em
Em

And sorts out your old boiler and
Am
Am

A
A

D
D

doesn't charge at all?
C
C

D
D

Am
Am

G
G

And in her darkest corners he
Am
Am

D
D

G
G

will make a final stand
Halfway up her skirting with his
stopcock in his hand
Am
Am

G
G

D
D

Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead, the
Verse 8
Am
Am

Bm
Bm

C
C

randy handy- man
D
D

A knight in shining overalls
G
G

He'll be there whenever he can
Bm
Bm

Em
Em

G
G

He never leaves a job half done
Am
Am

G
G

and always sees it through
Bm
Bm

A set of drawers might need a knob
C
C

G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

A whatsit need a thingummy bob
G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

In fact he's always on the job
C
C

D
D

G
G

Rub rub, hammer hammer, bang,
Outro 1
screw
G
G

Am
Am

D
D

Bm
Bm

G
G

C
C

D
D

G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

C
C

D
D

G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

G
G

C
C

D
D

G
G

Am
Am

Bm
Bm

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