Tonart: C minor
Intro 1
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Verse 1
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If you receive an e-mail with with a subject of "badtimes", delete it immediately
Without reading it. this is the most
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dangerous e-mail virus virus yet.
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It will re-write your your hard drive. not only that,
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but it will scramble any
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Disks that are even close to your computer. it
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will recalibrate your
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Refrigerator`s coolness setting so all your
ice cream melts. it will
Demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
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screw up the tracking on
Your vcr and use subspace field harmonics
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to render any cds you try to play
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Verse 3
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It will give your ex-boy girlfriend
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your new
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phone number. it will mix
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Antifreeze into your fishtank. it
will drink all your beer and leave its
Socks out on the coffee table when there`s
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company coming over. it will put
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A dead kitten in the back pocket of your
good suit and hide your car keys
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When you are late for work.
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Verse 4
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Badtimes will make you fall in love with
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a penguin. it will give you
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Nightmares about circus midgets. it
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will pour sugar in your gas tank and
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Shave off both your eyebrows while dating
your current boy girlfriend be
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hind
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Your back and billing the dinner
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and hotel room to your visa card.
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grandmother. it does not matter if she is dead,
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such is
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The power of badtimes, it reaches out
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beyond the grave to sully those things
Verse 6
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It moves your car randomly around parking
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lots so you can`t find it. it will
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Kick your dog. it will leave libidin
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ous messages on your boss`s voice mail
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and subtle. it is dangerous
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and terrifying to behold. it is
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Also a rather interesting shade
of mauve.
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Verse 8
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Badtimes will give you dutch elm disease.
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it will leave the toilet seat up.
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It will make a batch of methamphetamine in
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your bathtub and then leave bacon
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Cooking on the stove while it goes out
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to chase high school kids with your
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New snowblower. these are just a few of the signs. be very, very careful!
Outro 1
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