Tonart: A major
Intro 1
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Bb
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Verse 1
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Cledus went down to Florida,
he was lookin for a car to steal.
He was in a bind, ten payments behind
so the bank repoed his wheels.
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When he came across this old man
down at Jalopy's Used Car lot.
Then Cledus jumped up on
the top of one and said:
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"Fella, let me tell you what."
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"I'm not gonna be proud
Verse 2
of
the deed I'm 'bout to do.
"With no time to spare,
I gotta be somewhere,
"So I'm gonna steal a car from you.
"Now I've seen your selection here
and I admit the pickin's are few.
"I know the Pinto's gold but
consider it stoled,
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"''cause I got a show to do. "
The man said: 'My name's
Jalopy," as he gave an evil grin.
''cause he knew that car wouldn't get too far
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'fore the motor blew up again.
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Cledus, you better hit
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gonna be a star.
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The show's way up in Georgia and
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you're opening up for Garth.
Your future's riding on this shiny
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it's Jeff Foxworthy's show.
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Oh, gosh a Pinto,
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my foot. It drives more like a horse and buggy. Durn.
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Cledus said: "No way in heck
you're gonna open up that show."
Then fire flew from the manifold
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as his right front tyre blowed.
And he pushed that wreck across the street
and man was Cledus tissed.
And he tried and tried to start her up but
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it sounded something like this.
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Oh Gawd, I'm in a mess
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My one big shot for Garth
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Brooks .
Oh durn it.
Verse 5
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When Cledus opened up the hood
he said: 'I'll be a son of a gun'.
And didn't long to figure out why
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the heck it wouldn't run.
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Fire
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from the engine, lots of smoke.
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He can already hear them redneck jokes.
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Dead blamed oil pan laying in the road.
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Will he make the show,
heck no, heck no.
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Whoa oh.
Verse 7
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I'll show him a redneck.
He'll have a redneck when I get
my hands around his throat.
I'm sick of it.
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Verse 8
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Cledus shook his head as he watched
Foxworthy's show.
And he heard him joke of how
he passed a burning gold Pinto.
Then later on, Garth told Cledus: "you'll
never get the chance again,"
As he gave the check to that durned redneck
who drove a Mercedes Benz.
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He said: "Tough break, big guy.
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"Before I go would you like to hear
another redneck joke'
own TV show'"
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Well, does anybody watch it' (No, heck,
no.)
Verse 9
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Well, you might be a redneck if your mom and daddy
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cathes you out behind the barn.
Whupping Jeff Foxworthy for talking
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about rednecks all the time.
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Aw, shoot I'm just kidding, Jeff.
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I wished I could be your best friend.
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I'd love to be on your TV show.
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