Tonart: C major
Intro 1
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Katie Curlin was my
Verse 1
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first kiss
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I was only five years old
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and she lit me with
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I had braces on my legs
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and I almost fell down
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And from that day moving forward
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I've been petrified of lawns,
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lawns, lawns
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Patricia, she was my first love
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She sat in rows behind me
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and I couldn't breathe
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I gave her pink foil an imals
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and we rinsed and scraped
And it was on her turntable
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when I met her on Sunday
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Mama's out
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and we were listening in the dark
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She reached down my pants
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and discovered I was bald
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And when I touched her down
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there she was blossoming in salt
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And the next day at school,
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she ignored me in the hall
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Shelly and Amber gave me my first taste
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I went down on both of Amber's
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We were drunk as stonks
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And they gave me a bath
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and I stumbled on
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Marianne was my first fall
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She slid down
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between my legs
and oh my God
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I went with her friend first
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but I couldn't get it in
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And when she called me Marianne,
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her heart was broken
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Marianne got cold
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and abruptly broke it all
For a guy with sweat
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pants and a pickup truck
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I begged her not to dump me,
Caught her a body language,
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told me it was time for me to go
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The guy with the trunk
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and brought me home
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I sat down at my piano
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and my spirit was low
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But I pulled myself together
and I played a funeral
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Now I was the one
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who got their heart broke
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I met a girl named Debra,
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she lived on the canal
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She made me eggs in the morning,
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she was such a sweet gal
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And we went to Red Lobster
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and we went to Tangiers
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She had motherly love,
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she was warm and she cared.
She was a beautiful girl,
and she had a big heart.
But I drifted away
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because there wasn't that spark.
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Oh, mess of sex and love
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When you give that first stinging,
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you're the one who gets stung
And when you lose control,
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and how good it feels to cum
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When you're panting like a dog
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getting into to someone
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how it hurts so much
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When you can't love the one
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you've been longing to touch
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And they're on to someone else
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and it don't feel right
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The nature of attrac
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tion cycles on and on
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And nobody's right and nobody's wrong
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All in life shapes and types
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It's a complicated place this
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planet we're on
You're just going to, like, sit there
on stage
and have a conversation through
my show?
That's how it works?
What is your name?
Since you were all talking,
what's your name?
Sarah. it's Mark and Sarah's show,
everybody, how are you doing?
Sarah, were you comfortable throughout that last song that
I was singing about fucking and oral sex?
Were you comfortable sitting up there
while I was singing songs
about eating pussy
when I was in seventh grade?
I'm just curious. Yay,
all right, that worked.
Okay then.
Applause
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