Just last week when I was
walking down the street
I observed this lovely lady
that I wanted to meet
I walked up to her I said hello
She said: "Hey,
you're kind of cute" I said: "Yes, I know, but...
By the way, sweetheart,
what's your name?"
She said: "My friends like to
call me exotic Elaine"
I said: "My name is the Prince"
and she said: "Why?"
I said: "Well, I don't know,
I'm just a hell of a guy!
But enough about me, yo,
let's talk about you
And all the wonderful things
that you and I can do"
I popped some trash and in a little bit of time
I showed some cash and
the girl was mine
I took her over town I wined
her and dined her
She ask me 'did I like
her?' I said: "Well... kinda"
All of a sudden she jumped
out her seat
Snatched me up by my wrist and took
me out to the street
She started grabbin' all over
me kissing and hugging
So I shoved her away I said:
"You better stop buggin'!"
She got mad looked me dead in my face
Threw her hands in the air
and yelled out: "Rape!"
I got scared when she started to yell
So I handed her my wallet and ran like hell
I was duckin' through alleys right and left
But when the cops caught up
they almost beat me to death
I was arrested charged with
aggravated assault
(Yo Clancy we got him) but
it wasn't my fault!
I was in a bar one Friday night
Cooling watching a Mike Tyson fight
I was maxin' and relaxin'
sippin' on tequila
When this girl walked up she said: "Hi,
my name is Sheila"
I responded by saying hello
She paid for my drink and then
said: "Let's go"
20 minutes later things
were starting to cook
As we pulled up into her house I
said: "I'm with you, toots"
The music was soft and there
was wine in the glasses
She started winking and making little passes
At me she pat me close that's
when she got bold
She started feeling up my back I said: "Oh,
your hands are cold!"
We went to her bedroom
thinking of one thing
Took the phone off the hook
to avoid the annoying ring
I caressed her body and I kissed her cheek
And that's when I observed
those satin bed sheets
I felt that it was time for me to make my move
I thought I better hurry up
before I busted the groove
I leaned down to kiss her but
then out of the blue
A door slammed and a voice said: "Baby,
where are you?"
Her boyfriend busted in,
he grinned an evil grin
And said: "Boy,
I'ma tear your butt limb from limb!"
I was scared as hell,
where was I supposed to go?
I just yelled: "Geronimo!" and
jumped out the window
Just my luck we were in a snow storm
And all I had was my underwear
on to keep my warm
And to top the night off I had
to break in my place
Because my keys were in my pants
back on Sheila's book case
I was done, sneezing and coughing
I hope this doesn't happen too often,
but
I got a ring on my phone May 5th last year
It was my girlfriend Betty I said: "Hello dear!
I was just about to call you
I got a couple tickets to the Run-
D.M.C. concert" (I'm wit it)
"It's six o'clock now,
at eight will you be ready?" (Yeah)
"Aight, fine, see you then, Betty"
I combed my hair washed
and brushed my teeth
Got funky fresh dressed in my
Le Coq Sportif
Got to Betty's at eight I was ready to jet
Until Betty's mom said:
"Betty's not ready yet"
I sat there for at least an hour
It was ten after nine before she got
in the shower
9:35 she comes downstairs
And said: "I need a little longer
to finish my hair"
At ten o'clock we had
been missed the show
She comes downstairs and says
'let's go'!?
"Go where? Go to sleep, I'm gone!"
I was steamin' like
a demon as I drove home
But it just goes
Man, first your parents just don't understand
I know, right right
Then you have these crazy nightmares
Bro, why me? Why me?
What's next?
I don't know, just not these girls man, but,
you know how it is, can't live wit 'em
Can't live without 'em
Will Smith 
