Tonart: G major•
Verse 1
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Well,
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it took me a woman late last night,
I was three -fourths drunk, she
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looked all right.
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Just started peeling off her onion gook,
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she took off her wig, said, how do I look?
I was high -flying, bare -naked,
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out the window
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Well, sometimes I might get drunk
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Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk
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Don't hurt me, nonna, don't
hurt my pride
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Cause I got my little
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lady right by my side
She's a -tryin' to hide,
pretendin' she don't know
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Dm
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me
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I was out there paintin'
on the old woodshed
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When a can of black paint, it fell on my head
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I went down to scrub and rub
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But I had to sit in back of the tub
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Cost a quarter, half price
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When my telephone rang, it would not stop
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It's President Kennedy callin' me up
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He said, my friend Bob,
what do we need
to make the country grow?
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I said, my friend John, Bridget Bardot
Anita Eckberg, Sophia Loren
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The country'll grow
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Well, I got a woman five
feet short
She yells and hollers and
pats me on the head
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Rolls me over and kicks me out of bed
She's a man -eater, a meat grinder,
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a bad loser
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Oh, there ain't no use in me
workin' all the time
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I got a woman who works herself blind
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works up to her britches,
up to her neck,
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writes me letters and sends me checks.
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She's a humdinger, folk singer.
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Late one day in the middle of the week,
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eyes were closed, I was half asleep.
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I chased me woman up the hill
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right in the middle of an irate drill.
jumped the fallout shelter,
I jumped the string beam,
I jumped the tv dinner,
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I jumped the shotgun.
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I had a man on the stand,
he wants my vote,
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he's run ning for office on a ballot note,
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he's out there preaching in
front of the steeple,
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telling me he loves all kinds of people.
he's eating bagels
he's eating pizza
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he's eating chitlins
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the television floor
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i flicked the channel to number four
comes a football man
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with a bottle of oil in his
hand greasy kid stuff
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What I want to know, Mr. Football Man,
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is what do you do about Willie Mays,
Martin Luther King,
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Ola Tunji, whoa -oh -oh.
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Well, the funniest woman I ever seen
was the great -granddaughter
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of Mr. Clean.
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She takes about 15 baths a day
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Wants me to grow a mustache on my face
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She's insane
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Well, you ask me why I'm drunk all the time
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It levels my head and eases my mind
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I just walk along and stroll and sing
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I see better days and I do better things
I'll catch dinosaurs,
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make love to Elizabeth Taylor,
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catch hell from Richard Burton
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