Tonart: F major
Verse 1
D
A
If I ruled the world,
G
I would dream up inventions.
A
I'd throw out the rules, disregard
A
D
I'd make this world happy
G
and peaceful and bright.
A
And all of us would sleep
G
D
much better at night.
First thing I'd demand
A
G
Easy to install, but hard to disarm.
A
D
It would be silent on streets,
G
and in parking lots instead
A
G
It would only go off in the car
G
Really, nobody else needs to be woken up
A
Just cause somebody's walking
a teensy bit too close to your car
D
I want a fast forward button
G
For those boring times when spending
A
hours with knuckleheads
G
Drives you out of your mind
A
D
Simply point it and zap them
G
Zip right to the end of
A
their dull observations
A
D
but then I'd like a slow motion button
G
to make good times last,
A
and slow down some boyfriends
G
A
who still go too fast.
D
Kisses would be sweeter,
A
would come in handy when making gravy,
G
D
keep those lumps from congealing.
F#m
I'd invent something for one
D
Bm
of those awkward attacks
E
when you leave a stupid message on
A
voicemail and you can't take it back,
F#m
Simply click and rewind for
Bm
quite a brilliant remark
E
That will impress the collie and
A
E
A
perhaps win his heart
D
Oh, I wish I had an alarm
A
That would beep if I was about
G
A
to step in dog dew
A
It would bang if my shoe was
G
D
near moist bubblegum
G
A
Really, if they can tell you that a hurricane is 500 miles away,
couldn't they tell you
that an itsy bitsy little natural disaster
is just two inches from your foot?
D
G
I'd want a buzzer on my mirror that will warn
A
G
if my hair is a horrible mess, or if I need
D
The deluxe model will have a
A
Lock the doors, bolt the windows,
G
D
you can't leave the house!
F#m
I want a censor in the ladies
Bm
room that discreetly knows
E
When you've tucked your dress
F#m
This happened to me in
Bm
a really fancy place
E
You should have seen the look
A
E
A
D
on the maitre d's face
G
It was that sign of the dove in
Manhattan
D
Everybody was staring at me as I was walking across the floor,
Bm
F#m
But I'm telling you, if I ruled the world,
G
humiliating things like this wouldn't happen anymore.
A
Wouldn't this be a better place
Bm
for all of us to live in?
I'm sure the diners at
Dove would agree.
D
G
Now, here are some of my more
A
E
A
modest inventions.
D
I'd invent an umbrella with a
G
strong bracelet attached.
G
and it would come in handy if you're ever in a subway attack.
A
D
A detector that tells you
G
what's in the cracker jack box.
A
An extra five minutes on
G
A
all of our clocks.
D
Every country would drive on the
G
same side of the street.
A
I'd remove all cholesterol
G
A
from all of our meat.
D
Children would volunteer
A
People like me would understand
G
D
how to read maps.
F#m
I'd invent a satellite catcher
Bm
for that inevitable day
E
When your 500 million dollar
A
E
spacecraft just floats away
A
F#m
A video camera that could
D
Bm
tape record your dreams
E
I'd invent a 100 % natural, yet luscious,
A
Bm
A
yet nonfat, and so yummy ice cream
G
I would make these inventions
A
And then think up more at
A
D
But I don't rule the world,
to make do
A
G
With the annoying situations we all
Outro 1
F#m
G
A
D
G
D
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