Tonart: Bb major•
Verse 1
One little evening alone, home
End up with carpal tunnel syndrome
Bb
known for giving heavy back aches
Grown and living off of Little
Debbie snack cakes
Supposed to be checking e-mails
Gm
G
Bb
All All I got is messages from ass
B
Bm
naked females
Bb
I don't know a Jenny,
Verse 2
B
Bb
she said it's free and I won't owe her a penny
And that's the last time I saw her
Gb
But thousands of more horrors
B
They got 'em with they curls out
Bb
And they got a better sales pitch
than the Girl Scouts
I wonder what I owe her
Gb
B
For a whole box of caramel coconut Samoa
Bb
Uh, ok honey, sweet dreams! Now it's time
to get serious like Peek Freans
A metal hand full, wipe it on the quilt
Gm
G
Wife wake up and I'm
Bb
kill't over spilt milk
B
Bb
Locked in, looking at your picture
Fully clothed winter and I
right there wit cha
Thinking about the last time
I split your wishbone
A man could only wish you could
do the same 'til he get home
Gb
At least he get snacks
B
That will have to do 'til
B
Bb
Until then, smack One-Eyed Jack
Jack
Gm
G
Bb
And hope one of his peoples can
hook him with a tri-pack
B
Bm
Bb
That's That's three
different flavors
B
Bb
Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry wafers
B
Bb
Acting all hard,
'bout to get beat up
Gm
Bb
I'll show him what time it is
B
once I get this sheet up
Bm
Bb
Soon as he fell off the beat down,
Bb
"Thirteenth cell get the sheet down!"
B
Bb
Damn C.O.
What the hell do she know
Gm
G
Besides the fact she wanna
Bb
get dug out on the d-low
A workaholic with a fountain in the ink pen
Out in the mountains and
I stopped drinking again
In the wee hours he's gotten farther
Bb
B
being hot and bothered
Bb
The whiz with her legs bent, pregnant
B
Bb
God bless the day she wondered
where her egg went
I need a L, it's hard to drink without it
G
Bb
And could use some cookies but trying
not to think about it
Bb
for knowledge on file
Every other commercial,
college hoes gone wild
Soft batch, I prefer the other bunch,
Ab
G
like we got for lunch
Gm
Chocolate fudge butter crunch
G
Gm
G
Bb
Gb
E
Gb
Verse 3
B
Bm
B
He don't mess with the Ritz Bits,
Bb
B
Bb
Wheat Thins, Saltines, or Triscuits
Ab
Matzos, or Cheez-Its
G
Bb
Catch sugar fits every time that he sees
Chips Ahoy,
Bb
Something with the bubble
and the junk in the trunk
B
Bb
Even the Oreos
No matter what weather
Ab
Gm
Always kept 'em dipped in
Bb
B
milk and stuck together
Bb
In the game he's shameless,
B
Bb
even uses a code name Famous Amos
B
Bb
It's cheaper than a short stay at the day's
Gm
Bb
inn and good like 25 cent oatmeal raisin
B
G
Bb
Give a hand to who invented the camera
B
Bb
Skip past the graham
animals and grandmas
B
Bb
Shh, make sure she don't
G
wake from her dream chill
Gm
Bb
Or get caught with a handful
Verse 4
Bb
ing? That's so nasty!"
It might seem ill
Ab
Gm
Bb
"Ew! Go wash your hands!"
Outro 1
Bb
Ab
Gm
Bb
B
Bb
Gm
Bb
G
Gb
G
Gm
G
B
F#
B
F#
F
Eb
Gb
Eb
F
C
B
F#
B
F#
B
F
B
F#
B
D#
F#
A#
B
D#
F#
D#
F#
F
F#
B
D#
B
D#
B
D#
B
A
B
D#
D#
F#
D#
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