Tonart: Bb major
Verse 1
B
It's horrible
One little evening alone, home
End up with carpal tunnel syndrome
C
And here I am,
B
known for giving heavy back aches
Grown and living off of Little
Debbie snack cakes
Supposed to be checking e-mails
G#m
G#
B
All All I got is messages from ass
C
Cm
naked females
B
I don't know a Jenny,
Verse 2
C
B
she said it's free and I won't owe her a penny
And that's the last time I saw her
G
But thousands of more horrors
C
on online Gomorrah
B
And Sodom
C
They got 'em with they curls out
B
And they got a better sales pitch
than the Girl Scouts
I wonder what I owe her
G
C
For a whole box of caramel coconut Samoa
B
Uh, ok honey, sweet dreams! Now it's time
to get serious like Peek Freans
A metal hand full, wipe it on the quilt
G#m
G#
Wife wake up and I'm
B
kill't over spilt milk
C
B
Locked in, looking at your picture
Fully clothed winter and I
right there wit cha
Thinking about the last time
I split your wishbone
A man could only wish you could
do the same 'til he get home
C
Fat chance
G
At least he get snacks
C
That will have to do 'til
B
a brother get back
C
B
Until then, smack One-Eyed Jack
Jack
G#m
G#
B
And hope one of his peoples can
hook him with a tri-pack
C
Cm
B
That's That's three
different flavors
C
B
Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry wafers
C
B
Acting all hard,
'bout to get beat up
G#m
B
I'll show him what time it is
C
once I get this sheet up
Cm
B
Soon as he fell off the beat down,
C
all I hear is
B
"Thirteenth cell get the sheet down!"
C
B
Damn C.O.
What the hell do she know
G#m
G#
Besides the fact she wanna
B
get dug out on the d-low
A workaholic with a fountain in the ink pen
Out in the mountains and
I stopped drinking again
In the wee hours he's gotten farther
G#
Needing three showers,
B
C
being hot and bothered
B
The whiz with her legs bent, pregnant
C
B
God bless the day she wondered
where her egg went
I need a L, it's hard to drink without it
G#
B
And could use some cookies but trying
not to think about it
C
Watching "BET" on jazz
B
for knowledge on file
Every other commercial,
college hoes gone wild
Soft batch, I prefer the other bunch,
A
G#
like we got for lunch
G#m
Chocolate fudge butter crunch
G#
G#m
G#
B
G
F
G
Verse 3
C
Cm
C
He don't mess with the Ritz Bits,
B
C
B
Wheat Thins, Saltines, or Triscuits
A
Matzos, or Cheez-Its
G#
B
Catch sugar fits every time that he sees
Chips Ahoy,
C
double chocolate chunk
B
Something with the bubble
and the junk in the trunk
C
B
Even the Oreos
No matter what weather
A
G#m
Always kept 'em dipped in
B
C
milk and stuck together
B
In the game he's shameless,
C
B
even uses a code name Famous Amos
C
B
It's cheaper than a short stay at the day's
G#m
B
inn and good like 25 cent oatmeal raisin
C
G#
B
Give a hand to who invented the camera
C
B
Skip past the graham
animals and grandmas
C
B
Shh, make sure she don't
G#
wake from her dream chill
G#m
B
Or get caught with a handful
C
of cream fill
B
"Oh, honey! What
Verse 4
C
are you do
B
ing? That's so nasty!"
It might seem ill
A
G#m
B
"Ew! Go wash your hands!"
C
Cookies
Outro 1
B
A
G#m
B
C
B
G#m
B
G#
G
G#
G#m
Ab
C
G
C
G
F#
E
G
E
F#
Db
C
G
C
G
C
F#
C
G
C
E
G
B
C
E
G
E
G
F#
G
C
E
C
E
C
E
C
Bb
C
E
E
G
E
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Akkorde & SongtexteB C G#m G# Cm...
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