Tonart: Bb major
Verse 1
D
I've taught you all the lessons they
C
D
don't teach in public schools
And so let's all recite Velma Von
Tussle's golden rules
Verse 2
Am
D
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Am
Girls, you mustn't ever
G
D
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Colors, ladies,
Am
D
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Am
Girls, let's hope not one more stomach
D
G
growls
(Remember)
Bb
G
What Mrs. Von Tussle says is gold
Verse 3
Am
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
The girl who's chosen must
Am
D
be the right fit
Am
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
Am
We must read out those Baltimore
D
G
hips
(Remember)
C
G
Am
What Mrs. Von Tussle says sticks
G
A
Verse 4
C
lady's virtue in my days
just wasn't up for grabs
underlocking key
C
Remember, girls, that I was crowned
to Miss Baltimore Crabs!
D
C#
(Yeah, way back in one million
(Cha cha cha!)
Verse 5
Am
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
Am
Brenda clearly went too
G
We'll keep our ... tight!
Am
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
D
And now it's time to...
Am
D
G
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Bb
Get out your claws and let
Verse 6
Bbm
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
Bbm
Eb
Just how many sweat ers do you own?
Three? (Aw!)
Ab
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
Ab
What color is your private
princess from?
Aqua? (Aw!)
Bbm
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
Bbm
Come back when daddy buys you
Eb
Ab
a new nose
(Remember)
Cm
What Mrs. Von Tussle
Verse 7
Bbm
Eb
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Bbm
Eb
Listen people, can I be frank?
Ab
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Eb
Ab
You're twist was crap and kid,
your pony stanks!
Bbm
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Bbm
Eb
Ab
a scratch for fleas and ticks?
(Remember)
What Mrs. Von Tussle says sticks
Verse 8
Db
Too short, too tall, too big, too small
My God, what's on your face?
Velma's public wants to see
Db
But I can dream this world would
seem a much more lovely place
Eb
D
If everybody here in looked
E
(Cha cha cha!)
Verse 9
Bm
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
E
Bm
E
And finally, I hate to sound cruel
Verse 10
Would you swim in an integrated pool?
I sure would, I'm all for integration,
it's the new frontier
A
Not in Baltimore, it isn't
Verse 11
Bm
E
(Mrs. Von Tussle says)
Darling, well,
Bm
E
this just is not your day
Guys, Amber, take her away!
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