Tonart: G major•
Verse 1
Bm
Em
Some folks croon about moon
A
D
G
Some folks scream and holler
Bm
But I'm going to sing about
Em
Bm
a wonderful thing
A
D
G
My shirt collar
Eb
D
Verse 2
G
D
G
D
Ariba, ariba, whoo, whoo, Here we go...
G
Bm
It used to stand up and touch my ears
C
But now I've got to be careful
G
When I was younger it was up in a jiff
C
Cm
Were it more rigid it would be terrif'
Bm
C
D
My shirt collar, whoo whoo, oh no
It will not go stiff
G
Verse 3
D
G
Bm
It won't go stiff, no it won't go stiff
C
It's once proud rigidity is
G
The miserable thing I am hold
Bm
ing in my hand which is
C
Limper than the lettuce in yer
D
British Rail sandwiches
G
What was once a certainty
is only an 'if'
C
Bang goes the happiness,
G
'Cause my shirt collar,
Bm
C
D
whoo whoo, oh no
It will not go stiff
G
Verse 4
D
F
C
Well I soaked it, doped it,
G
tied it up and roped it
Bb
F
G
Varnished it but still it ends up bent
Am
F
I've stuffed it into kettles,
C
G
I've walloped it with metals
A
D
I've squirted it with aftershave and filled
Interlude 1
it with cement
D
G
Bm
C
D
G
Bm
C
D
Verse 5
G
I used to dress so it protruded
C
But now I keep it covered up
D
and all it does is dangle
G
It was up like a rocket on
November the fifth
C
But it hasn't happened since
Cm
and the ladies just sniff
Bm
C
My shirt collar, whoo whoo,
D
G
Bm
oh
C
D
G
Bm
no
C
D
Outro 1
It will not go stiff
G
Bm
C
D
G
Bm
C
D
G
Cm
G
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