Tonart: Bb major
Verse 1
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Ray's guitar broke.
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No, we won't play Rawhide,
won't play anything.
We'll play the theme from the Dinah
Shore show.
Who wants to be Dinah Shore?
Who's alter- ego is Dinah Shore?
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Oh, his fists didn't go up so quickly this time. Yawn,
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yawn, yawn.
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F#5
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F#5
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Put those headphones on, it's be- bop time.
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Interlude 1
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Am
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I want to tell you a story
Verse 2
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about the
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last time I was in Portland.
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The night before we played
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at the Long Goodbye.
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I was walking on the street
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about 10:30 at night.
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A lot of people go to bed around here
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at 10:30 at night.
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And well, I was walking along when
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suddenly these jocks in this
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F#5
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bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights,
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everything but the CB. It was a life- size Hot
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Wheels car for some dumb rich kid,
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right. Well,
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they drove up to me
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and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually yell,
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and showered me with some
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wa ter.
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So, I stood there thinking,
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what a bunch of fuckheads and picked up a rock.
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Now, I waited,
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walked down about a block to
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where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is,
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on Burnside,
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and sure enough they drove
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around again.
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They said, "Hey, faggot,
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where's the nearest McDonald's?" I said,
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"I don't know" and they
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So I threw the rock and put a nice- size dent
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in their giant Hot Wheels car.
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They screeched to a halt in the park
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ing lot of some department store,
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who's name I don't remember,
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it's up the street from Fred Meyer,
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and they got out their clubs and they ran after me,
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"We're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot,
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you motherfucker."
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So I got in a phone booth by
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the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside,
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held my legs straight out like this so
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they couldn't open the door
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to the phone booth. So they began
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charging the phone booth,
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beating on it with their club,
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"We're gonna kill you, you motherfucker,
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we're gonna kill you,
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you god damn fag got." I just
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looked at them.
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So, there was a crowd gath
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and these kids were standing
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"Oh, look at him, he's insane." I thought,
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ah- hah, here's my way out.
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I yelled at them,
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"Take me to a mental hospital right away.
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I want to be be put away.
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Please put me away, c'mon,
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call the cops and put me away.
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Please put me away now."
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They said, "Alright, faggot,
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we're calling the police." So they called the police.
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The cop comes out and I go, ah, my savior,
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I'm away from these jocks.
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"Get out of there, you,"
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throws me up against the car, frisks me,
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shoves me in the back.
Then he goes over to the jocks,
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"Now what happened here?
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It looks like we're going
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have to take him to jail
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but we got to have the full
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story first"
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So the jocks, who had an ace in the hole,
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ace in the hole
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Take down on the bass,
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a little bit down on the bass. Yeah,
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ace in the hole, and they go, "Well,
the motherfucker put a dent in my truck,
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I went out and I wanted to kill him.
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I want to kill him. Let me kill him,
goddammit.
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Let me kill him."
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So the cop made them go home,
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and he drove me home,
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an d he confiscated their club and my
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rock as further evidence.
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And I thought, so this is Oregon,
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huh? Tolerant Oregon?
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Verse 3
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Ray, are you done with your guitar yet?
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He isn't done yet.
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So what else do you want to hear,
That's a true story, too. Just ask Bruce Loose
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