Tonart: D minor
Verse 1
Dm
Congregation, settle in your seats The rev
erent front aloud
I'm about to freak you out
Am
Dm
Make you shiver in the pew
While I'm delivering to you
My sermon and divinity ensue
Am
Brought by the one true God,
it's a fact
Dm
Am
Anybody else who ever had a God,
We ain't gotta worry bout him
Am
Dm
We picked the right horse
Am
You're in the right house of wor ship,
Am
And forces are gathering out in the world
Dm
Am
To diminish our faith
Dm
in ways radical and thorough
To discourage us from loving
Am
anything that's immaterial
Dm
To tempt our children with
ever fruitier cereal
Am
And worst of all to call
Dm
us idiots while they do it
My congregation, listen,
I'm bout to walk you through it
We're gonna take the nation
back
from the heathens that's within it
We're gonna get the most egregious
Am
of the atheists in prison
Dm
Am
Cause a schism while we're at it,
Am
And once we've purified our ranks,
We'll purify your minds
of what's illegitimately thought
It's not to be a battle indis
Dm
Am
But an orchestrated ef fort
and I'm gonna need you to commit
Dm
Am
Might take a couple generations
Dm
for this devil tree to quit
Start with the kids, in fact,
Am
they get distracted from the Lord
Dm
So I'd like you to write a couple letters
Am
to your school board
Do you, do you really believe
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees?
Don't it seem a little likelier
that Adam and Eve
Did a lot of hopping
and that was the origin of the species?
Do you, do you really believe
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Don't I seem a little lucklier
than Adam and me?
You did a lot of hopping
Dm
and that was the origin of the species
Am
Dm
Am
Em
Dm
Am
Dm
Am
Dm
Am
And what has this so -called science
Am
But trumpeted that when ashes
Dm
go to ashes and dust to dust
Despite the fuss of living,
Am
Dm
en ergy gets conserved
Denying the weight of the soul
Am
of a man that's as ill -deserved
Dm
Am
This is still the curse of Copernicus
Ebm
Dm
Secu lar thought ought not
Am
to overflow its buffer
Ebm
Dm
Am
And run roughshod
through the minds of you,
the population
Dm
Heretics such as Dawkin
Dm
overstepped their station
Am
To say that what we see
and what we believe
should be confluent
Dm
Am
Look to your reverenda
and apostasy,
it's what I'm doing
Look to your holy book to light the way,
Ebm
Dm
Ebm
Open it up and you'll find Eden
Dm
Ebm
before you even scratch the surface
Dm
Am
Sure, this should be mirrored
in the textbooks verbatim
Ebm
Dm
Am
But I'm not in a position
yet to issue ultimatum
Ebm
Dm
Am
So I lay down my scheme,
we'll make it seem as though creation
Dm
Isn't anything we'd like to
Am
F
interject to education
Dm
Am
We'll wrangle up the language,
science, data, theorem
Ebm
Dm
Am
The irreducible complexity
of the ears we use to hear them
Ebm
Dm
Am
Gnash ing teeth and wailing
from Kansas to PA
Ebm
Am
Yes, my flock, our talk of future's
not imminent but underway
Dm
Am
Already established an institute
Am
Discovered that Darwin is dead
Dm
with outlook grim for recovery
Am
School moms will soon say
that he burns in a fiery sea
Dm
Am
Dm
Think how much like paradise
Do you, you really believe?
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Don't it seem a little likelier
that Adam and Eve
Did a lot of hopping
and that was the origin of the species?
Do you, do you really believe?
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Don't it seem a little likelier
that Adam and Eve
Em
Did a lot of hopping
and that was the origin of the species?
Am
Do you, do you really believe?
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Don't it seem a little likelier
that Adam and Eve
Did a lot of humping
and that was the origin of the species
Do you, do you really believe
We were nothing but the monkeys
swinging up in the trees
Thought it seemed a little lucklier
than that to me
Did a lot of humping
Em
Am
Dm
and that was the origin of the species
Outro 1
Am
Dm
Am
Dm
Am
Dm
Am
Dm
D
Dm
Am
Dm
Am
Am
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