I hear birds. Calm
down.
You're supposed to be calm. know,
like,
you're just gonna work
yourself into a frenzy.
Would you like a Coke?
I hear birds in here.
I want a beer, motorhead.
Yeah? Here they come. It's about time.
Oh, Frank looks tired.
He must have just done an interview.
Hello, lads. Shall we begin?
I should get their names first
for the big story I'm going to write.
My name is Don Preston,
also known as Don DeWilde,
or Biff DeBrie,
depending upon the spiritual evolvement
of the role I'm supposed to
play.
I'm Jimmy Carl Black.
I'm the Indian of the group.
What group?
Oh, forget it.
I'm Uncle James Moran Shewan,
and I came in
last in the baritone sax category
at Dalby Respo for 1970.
Gentlemen, I'm sure you're all aware
of the fact that we are in
an imaginary town
Sure.
I could tell right away.
Right. The vibes.
What's your name supposed to be?
My real name is Theodore Bickel.
But for the purposes of the movie,
you must call me Rance Mohammed.
Right on, Rance.
The functioning of our senses
has been spiritually impaired...
and chemically corrupted
by the fake artificial food coloring.
Yeah. We must evolve.
Yeah.
We must progress. Progress.
There must be growth.
Microbiotic food and tie -dye shirts.
Listen, man, I just want to
know two things.
Is there any beer in this fake nightclub,
and when do we get paid?
What sort of beer do you drink,
Jimmy Carl Black?
This is good human
interest material
for the big story I'm going to
write.
Let me rephrase that question.
What kind of beer do you drink,
Jimmy Carl Black?
Any old cunt I can get my mouth on,
honey, it don't make a shit to
me.
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
in a moment or two,
you'll be able to get your hands
on all the imaginary beer that you want.
For the moment, I would like to explain
some of the things
that you'll all be doing
in this movie.
I've been wondering about that.
Now, for sure, we have
a vacuum cleaner scheduled.
A vacuum cleaner?
And a potential epileptic seizure
during a production number later on.
A vacuum cleaner?
I thought the two of you
would like to get acquainted.
It says here
that you are supposed to be in love.
This abnormal relationship
will be great
for the big story I'm going to write.
Maybe, maybe, maybe
just good friends. Yes.
Now, Mr. Preston,
you will be playing a highly evolved
and spiritual role,
so I guess we'll have to call you Beef
Debris
for the rest of the movie.
What am I supposed to do?
Says you're my nephew.
You are wise
because you have traveled the
world.
You've been to Paris,
to London, to Berlin.
You, uh, know the ropes.
You meditate.
You practice yoga.
You play the synthesizer.
You operate a fake light show
in this imaginary nightclub.
You will be Motorhead's guru.
Guru?
And what is more,
Jimmy Carl Black owes you...
I thought I was going to get a chance to act,
to emote.
Wear a big cape and a black hat.
Wait a minute.
It says here that you get to
wear a big cape...
and a black hat...
and you can turn into
a monster
anytime you want to.
The very presence of a monster person
in this imaginary town
has a definite bearing on the news value
of the TV special they will make
from the big story I'm going to write.
Listen, man,
I just want to know one thing.
When do we get paid?
Look, look, look, look.
Don't you even care what you do?
So long as I get some beer and I get paid,
you can make me do any
thing. I'm professional.
I'm deeply offended by your lack
of artistic sense.
Look here, Mohammed's
or whatever the fuck they call you,
I don't even give a shit, man.
I got five fucking kids at home,
and can she lend me a couple of bucks
until the end of the week?
Who are you anyway?
Oh, she writes for an imaginary rock
-and -roll newspaper in San Francisco
My niece my niece
I didn't know she was a blood relation
just till the weekend wait a minute
Says here. I'm supposed to live
So you can oh, thanks Donny
But, just a minute, will ya?
You got any bread?
You got any bread?
What's he saying?
He wants to know
if you can loan him
a couple bucks till the weekend.
What's he saying?
He wants to know if you can loan him
a couple bucks till the weekend.
I have to go now and
write the big story
I'm going to write.
Wrecking cleaner!
Bye. Bye.
I have no idea
where you're going to be living
in the next six months.
She fuck.
