Tonart: E major•
Verse 1
E
Well, I guess it was back
in '63
When eatin' my cookin'
got the better of me
So I asked this little girl
I was goin' with to be my wife
A
E
Well, she said she would, so I said "I do"
But I'da said I wouldn't
if I'da just knew
How sayin' "I do" was gonna
A
screw up all of my life!
Verse 2
E
Well, the first few years
weren't all that bad
I'll never forget the good times we had
Cause I'm reminded every month when
A
I send her the child support.
E
Well, it wasn't too long
till the lust all died
And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised
The day I come home and found my suitcase
A
sittin' out on the porch.
Verse 3
E
Well, I tried to get in
she changed the locks!
A
Then I found this note taped
on the mailbox
B
E
A
turkey! My attorney will be in touch!"
E
So I decided right then and there
A
I's gonna do what's right
give her her fair share
E
But brother I didn't know her
share's gon' be THAT much!
Verse 4
mine!
She got the gold mine!
E
I got the shaft. I got the shaft
A
They split it right down
the middle
F#
B
And then they give her the better half
E
Well, it all sounds sorta funny
A
But it hurts too much to laugh
E
B
She got the gold mine
E
- I got the sha- a- aft
Verse 5
heard nothin' yet
Why, they give her the color
television set
Then they give her the house, the kids,
A
and both of the cars! See?
E
Well, then they start talkin'
'bout child support
Alimony, and the cost of the court
Didn't take me long to figure out
B
E
A
how far in the toilet I was!
Verse 6
they have made a mistake
A
Cause it adds up to more
than this cowboy makes!
B
Besides; everything I ever had worth takin',
E
A
they've already took!
E
While she's livin' like
a queen on alimony
eatin' baloney
Askin' myself,
B
E
"Why didn't you just learn how to cook?!?!"
Verse 7
gold mine!
She got the gold mine!
E
They give me the shaft. I
got the shaft
A
They said they're splittin'
it all down the middle
B
But she got the better half
E
Well, it all sounds mighty funny
A
But it hurts too much to laugh
E
B
She got the gold mine - I got the
E
sha- a- aft
Interlude 1
A
E
A
B
E
A
E
B
E
Verse 8
A
Well, she got the gold mine!
She got the gold mine!
E
I got the shaft. I got the shaft
A
They split it all down the middle
B
And then they give her the better half
E
Well, I guess it all sounds funny, Hoo, hoo, hoo,
ha- ha- ha- ha- ha!
A
But it hurts too much to laugh
E
B
She got the gold mine - I got
E
B
the sha- a- aft
(They ain't kiddin' me
E
B
I got the shaft)
Verse 9
E
Well, I don't have to worry 'bout totin'
B
E
a billfold n'more
Hahahahaha
I let my wife tote it; I'
B
mon' be carryin' food stamps
E
You get it, judge? I'mon' be...
Just... Hahahaha
Verse 10
B
E
Ah, it's not funny, huh? Huh? Huh
B
Contempt of court? Whaddaya mean?
E
Listen, judge: I's just kiddin'!
B
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