Tonart: B minor•
Intro 1
A#
G#
E
Verse 1
Am
There was a time when I saw
F
myself a flood- lit figure on the stage
Am
The Metropolitan Opera,
G
the Daily Critic's latest rage
Dm
Em
But my voice went through a change
F#m
Gm
about the same time as my skin
G
Em
Am
Now the op era is gone and what
Bm
Em
is left is getting awfully thin
Am
Verse 2
There was a time when I saw myself
F
a superstar upon the stage
Am
In someone's rock and roll opera,
G
but then my throat began to age
Dm
Em
And I wound up working nights with
F#m
Gm
afternoons when I'm awake
G
Em
Am
Bm
So I watch the daily dramas as my life
Em
becomes a coffee break
Am
Verse 3
A
Here's the story up to date
F#m
Shirley's found another mate
C#m
Though she'll wind up with
Em
G
her husband in the end
D
But her husband's got no life
Bm
He can't make it with his wife
Em
Though his secretary's more
Verse 4
A
It's a day- to- day routine and
F#m
I watch the TV screen
C#m
Letting Bob and Shirley
D
It's an opera made of soap using
Bm
oth er people's hope
Em
And to morrow's show ain't
Verse 5
Am
There was a time when I saw myself
F
a clean- cut cowboy on the screen
Am
A spurs- and- saddle horse opera,
G
but that's a long- forgotten dream
Dm
Em
So I watch Let's Make a Deal
F#m
Gm
and win the jackpot in my brain
Em
Am
Then it's time to watch the show that's
Bm
Em
got my cerebellum half insane
Am
Verse 6
A
Here's the story down to earth
F#m
Shirley's finally given birth
C#m
She's been carrying the
G
Em
baby for a year
G
D
Though it don't belong to Bob
Bm
Who's been fired from
Em
his job as a surgeon
A
'Cause he's got this sudden fear
Verse 7
A
He can't stand the sight of blood
F#m
Meanwhile Shirley's mining Judd
C#m
Who's the father of the kid
Em
G
Em
but he won't give
D
And tomorrow's show will say
Bm
what they left out yesterday
Em
A
And that gives me one good reason I should live
D
Bm
Interlude 1
Dm
Bdim
Dm
A
F#
Bdim
Em
Am
Verse 8
in a shell
F#m
Bobby's mind is shot to hell
C#m
'Cause he can't recall
Em
his name or how he feels
G
D
He's a lost amnesiac
Bm
Em
While his wife is in the back of her station
A
wagon notching up her heels
Verse 9
A
Meanwhile Bob's assistant nurse
F#m
has some pois on in her purse
C#m
And she's gonna slip into
D
Good old Judd thought up the scheme
Bm
Good old Judd is Shirley's dream
Em
But old Judd don't want
A
to share her chicken coop
Verse 10
A
And the nurse would like to keep Shirley's
F#m
C#m
body six feet deep in her grave
E
Em
And chase him to the Baltic Sea
D
For she sees herself his wife to poor Bob
Bm
Em
Who's found a life as a farmer
A
since he lost his memory
Verse 11
F#m
Bobby's bail ing up the hay
C#m
E
While his wife is in the straw
Em
G
with Bill and Fred
D
But she don't feel great inside
Bm
Em
It's that dose of cyanide that the nurse and
A
Judd will feed her til she's dead
Verse 12
A
There's a baby who just grew
F#m
fifteen years in only two
A
C#m
E
And she has her eyes on
G
D
But of course she can't know that
She just knows just where it's at
As her mother says,
"It's good to be so glad"
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