Tonart: B minor
Intro 1
E
D
Bb
Verse 1
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There was a time when I saw
B
myself a flood- lit figure on the stage
Ebm
The Metropolitan Opera,
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the Daily Critic's latest rage
Abm
Bbm
But my voice went through a change
Cm
Dbm
about the same time as my skin
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Bbm
Ebm
Now the op era is gone and what
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is left is getting awfully thin
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Verse 2
There was a time when I saw myself
B
a superstar upon the stage
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In someone's rock and roll opera,
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but then my throat began to age
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Bbm
And I wound up working night s with
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afternoons when I'm awake
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Bbm
Ebm
Fm
So I watch the daily dramas as my life
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becomes a coffee break
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Verse 3
Eb
Here's the story up to date
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Shirley's found another mate
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Though she'll wind up with
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Db
her husband in the end
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But her husband's got no life
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He can't make it with his wife
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Though his secretary's more
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than just his friend
Verse 4
Eb
It's a day- to- day routine and
Cm
I watch the TV screen
Gm
Letting Bob and Shirley
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live my life for me
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It's an opera made of soap using
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oth er people's hope
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And to morrow's show ain't
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soon enough for me
Verse 5
Ebm
There was a time when I saw myself
B
a clean- cut cowboy on the screen
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A spurs- and- saddle horse opera,
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but that's a long- forgotten dream
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So I watch Let's Make a Deal
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and win the jackpot in my brain
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Ebm
Then it's time to watch the show that's
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got my cerebellum half insane
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Verse 6
Eb
Here's the story down to earth
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Shirley's finally given birth
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She's been carrying the
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baby for a year
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Ab
Though it don't belong to Bob
Fm
Who's been fired from
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his job as a surgeon
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'Cause he's got this sudden fear
Verse 7
Eb
He can't stand the sight of blood
Cm
Meanwhile Shirley's mining Judd
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Who's the father of the kid
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Db
Bbm
but he won't give
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And tomorrow's show will say
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what they left out yesterday
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Eb
And that gives me one good reason I should live
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Fm
Interlude 1
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Fdim
Abm
Eb
C
Fdim
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Ebm
Verse 8
in a shell
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Bobby's mind is shot to hell
Gm
'Cause he can't recall
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his name or how he feels
Db
Ab
He's a lost amnesiac
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Bbm
While his wife is in the back of her station
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wagon notching up her heels
Verse 9
Eb
Meanwhile Bob's assistant nurse
Cm
has some poison in her purse
Gm
And she's gonna slip into
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Good old Judd thought up the scheme
Fm
Good old Judd is Shirley's dream
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But old Judd don't want
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to share her chicken coop
Verse 10
Eb
And the nurse would like to keep Shirley's
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Gm
body six feet deep in her grave
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Bbm
And chase him to the Baltic Sea
Ab
For she sees herself his wife to poor Bob
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Bbm
Who's found a life as a farmer
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since he lost his memory
Verse 11
Cm
Bobby's bailing up the hay
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Bb
While his wife is in the straw
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Db
with Bill and Fred
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But she don't feel great inside
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It's that dose of cyanide that the nurse and
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Judd will feed her til she's dead
Verse 12
Eb
There's a baby who just grew
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fifteen years in only two
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Gm
Bb
And she has her eyes on
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Judd who is her dad
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Ab
But of course she can't know that
She just knows just where it's at
As her mother says,
"It's good to be so glad"
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