Tonart: E major
Intro 1
D
A
Verse 1
D
C
She was one heck of a neurotic mess
she was depressed
Losing her friends, losing her mind
A problem person of the very worst kind
One day was shopping in
a health food store
She sees relaxation tapes galore
She slowly takes one down from the shelf
She is a skeptic, but she needs help
She takes it home,
C
D
she puts her headphones on
When she hears his voice,
Home
D
He tells her that the world
is a marvelous place
He tells her to relax her earlobes, her face
Her neck, her shoulders, her back, her arms
His voice is so soothing,
she succumbs to his charms
Every night she listens to the magical tape
Her dreams become a nocturnal
escape
She envisions the body
she knows she has no choice
She must find him, whatever it takes
The man, the voice on the relaxation tape
She must find him, whatever it takes
The man, the voice on
D
Her calls to the company
are not in vain
When he made the recording,
though he didn't give his name
He was kind of a philosopher,
somebody said
On his way to a convention
of grateful deadheads
She packs up her bags,
headed out west
Caught up with the dead,
but by now he had left
Which made her happy,
cause she had never seen
So many tie -dyed widows,
if you know what I mean
Then she followed him
to a health retreat
Where rich people paid to be
told what to eat
Where they bathed in mud
to clean their mouths
And to levitate their bodies
off the big beehives
But she had just missed him,
cause he had moved on
To a cryogenics center in Oregon
In case you don't know
what cryogenics is about
It's where they freeze your body
when your heart checks out
They'll store you in a locker
for as long as it takes
To find out who killed you
in the very first place
I won't go on, cause it's kinda gory
Anyway, that's not the
point of the story
Which is, you must find
him, whatever it takes
The man, the voice, on the relaxation tape
F
D
You must find him, whatever it takes
The man, the voice,
Bbm
A
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on the relaxation tape
A
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A
Bum -chicka -lucka -lucka -bum -chicka
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Bum -chicka -lucka -lucka
D
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A
-bum -chicka
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F
D
Years spin by, the seasons roll around
The leaves turn green
and then the leaves turn brown
The leaves turn green,
the leaves turn brown
And then the leaves turn green
F
and then the leaves turn brown
In rap language,
D
that means three years of coming gone
F
But she never found her relaxation man
D
So she moved back home,
she made a new plan
F
D
She stopped eating sugar,
F
all meat products, exercise every day
Had a firm buttocks,
stopped drinking coffee,
F
D
Soon she achieved true peace of mind
F
D
On that very same day,
the relaxation tape broke
F
D
Was she upset about it?
F
No, cause she realized she
didn't need help
Now she knew how to take care of herself
But later that day,
in Grand Central Station
On her way to Saratoga for a little vacation
She heard the announcer say
Rack 37 It was The Voice
She thought she was in heaven
She ran to the bush, she said,
where have you been?
I've been looking for you
since Lord knows when
He smiled at her,
he took her hand
She couldn't believe it,
she found the Relaxation Man!
Smiled at her, he took her hand
She couldn't believe it, she
found the Relaxation Man!
F
That night they went out
to a very fancy place
The food was French,
the tablecloths lace
When he talked to her
with that incredible voice
Guess what happened?
I have no choice but to tell you the truth
F
His voice was so soft and so soothing
She fell asleep
And when she awoke,
he was gone, the creep
And so was her pocketbook
with all of her money
That he is spending on his
brand new honey
What's the moral of this story?
I don't know
But now it's in division,
and I gotta go, bye
Thank you.
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