Tonart: G major•
Verse 1
G
D
G
D
G
My mother said
D
G
that I never should
D
A
D
A
Play with the naughty,
G
A
D
rude girls in the wood
G
Their giggling talk I could
D
G
never understand
A
And that's why I fell in love
D
A
D
C
with my right hand
Verse 2
G
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
C
And it does me good like it
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
D
G
And I'm always pulling my pud'
Verse 3
D
G
I was twenty- five years old
D
G
before I was kissed
A
And then I found that I preferred
D
a swift one off the wrist
G
It's cheap and convenient,
D
G
you can't catch VD
A
It's available at any time and
it's absolutely free
D
Verse 4
C
G
'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
C
And it does me good like it
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
D
G
And I'm always pulling my pud'
Verse 5
D
C
Oh Mrs. Palm and your five
C
G
Thank you for having me
A
D
and being oh so kind
G
I've got pains in my arms and
C
G
my dong is growing shorter
C
G
My knees have turned to water
D
G
and I think I'm going blind
Verse 6
D
G
I've wanked over Italy,
D
G
I've wanked over Spain
A
I've wanked in an omnibus,
D
I've even had a wank in a train
A
G
I've used a badger and
D
G
A
a melon and a cat
An inflatable Linda Lovelace and
D
C
a Davy Crockett hat
Verse 7
G
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
C
G
And it does me good like it
bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
D
G
And I'm always pulling my pud'
Verse 8
D
C
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five
C
G
Thank you for having me
A
D
and being oh so kind
G
I've got pains in my arms and
C
G
my dong is getting shorter
C
G
My knees have turned to water
D
G
and I think I'm going blind
Verse 9
G
C
G
D
G
He's a wanker, he's a wanker
C
G
And it does him good like it bloody
D
G
C
G
well should
D
G
C
G
He's a wanker, he's a wanker
D
And he's always pulling
Outro 1
his pud'
G
C
G
G
D
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