Sir Lionel?
Do you recall the other night
That I distinctly said you might serve
As my escort at the next town fair?
Well, I'm afraid there's someone
who I must invite in place of you
Someone who plainly is
beyond com pare
That Frenchman's power
is more tremendous
Than I have ever seen anywhere
And when a man is that stupendous
He, by right, shall take me to the fair.
Your Majesty,
let me tilt with him and smite him.
Don't refuse me so abruptly, I implore.
Oh, give me the opportunity to fight him,
And Gaul will be divided once more.
You will bash and thrash him?
I'll smash and mash him.
You'll give him trouble?
He will be rubble.
A mighty whack!
His skull will crack!
Well, then you may take me to the fair
If you do the things you promise
In fact, my heart would break
Should you not take me to the fair
Sir Sagamore
I have some rather painful news
As relative to the subject
who's to be beside me at
the next court ball.
You were the chosen one, I know,
but as tradition it should
go
To the unquestioned champion in the hall.
And I'm convinced that
splendid Frenchman
Can easily conquer one and all.
And besting all our local henchmen,
He should sit beside me at the ball.
I beg of you, 'am, withhold your invitation.
I swear to you this challenge will be met.
And when I've finished
up the operation,
I'll serve him to your highness,
en brochette.
You'll pierce right through him?
I'll barbe que him.
A wicked thrust?
It will be dust to dust.
From fore to aft?
He'll feel a draught.
Well then, you may
sit by me at the ball,
if you devourish him in battle.
In fact, I know I'd cry,
were you not by me at the ball.
Didn't I promise that you may
guide me to London
on the day that I go up to
judge the cattle show?
As it is quite a nasty ride,
there must be someone at my side
who'll be defending me
from beast and foe.
So when I choose whom I prefer go,
I take the strongest knight I know,
and young Dulac seems strongest,
ergo he should take me to the cattle show.
Your Majesty can't believe this
blustering prattle.
Let him prove it with a sword or lance instead.
I promise you, when I've done this gory battle,
His shoulders will be lonesome
for his head.
You'll disconnect him?
I'll vivisect him.
You'll open wide him?
I'll subdivide him.
Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear, dear.
Then you may guide me to the show,
if you can carry out your pro gram.
In fact, I'd grieve inside
should you not guide me to the show.
Milady, we shall put an end
to that gallic bag of noise and murmur.
When we do all that we intend to,
you'll be a plate of French order.
I do applaud your noble goals,
now let us see if you achieve them,
and if you do,
then you will be the three
who will go to the ball, to the show,
and take me to the ball.