Tonart: Gb major
Verse 1
D
G
The sweet pretty things are in bed now,
of course
G
they're trying to endorse
D
G
D
But the town has no need to be nervous
Verse 2
D
The ghost of Belle Starr,
G
D
she hands down her wits
G
D
To Jezebel the nun, she violently knits
G
A bald wig for Jack the Ripper,
G
At the head of the Chamber
D
of Commerce
Verse 3
G
I'm in the kitchen with
Verse 4
D
G
The hysterical bride in the penny arcade
D
Then sends out for the doctor,
G
who pulls down the shade
D
And says, "My advice is
G
D
to not let the boys in"
Verse 5
D
Now, the medicine man comes
D
He walks with a swagger
G
and he says to the bride
D
"Stop all this weeping,
D
G
D
You will not die, it's not poison"
Verse 6
G
I'm in the kitchen with
Verse 7
D
Well, John the Baptist,
G
D
after torturing a thief
Looks up at his hero,
G
the Commander- in- Chief
D
Saying, "Tell me, great hero,
G
but please make it brief
D
G
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"
D
Verse 8
The Commander- in- Chief answers
G
him while chasing a fly
D
Saying, "Death to all those
G
who would whimper and cry"
D
And, dropping a barbell,
D
G
Saying, "The sun's not yellow,
Verse 9
the factory,
G
I'm in the kitchen with
Verse 10
D
The king of the Philistines,
D
Puts jawbones on their tombstone
G
s and flatters their graves
D
Puts the pied pipers in prison
D
G
D
Then sends them out to the jungle
Verse 11
D
Gypsy Davey with a blowtorch,
G
he burns out their camps
D
With his faithful slave Pedro
D
G
With a fantastic collection of stamps
D
G
To win friends and influence
Verse 12
G
D
I'm in trouble with the tombstone blues
Interlude 1
Verse 13
G
The geometry of innocence,
flesh on the bone
D
G
Causes Galileo's math
book to get thrown
G
D
who's sitting worthlessly alone
G
D
But the tears on her cheeks are from laughter
Verse 14
D
I wish I could give Brother
G
D
Bill his great thrill
I would set him in chains
D
Then send out for some pillars
G
D
and Cecil B. DeMille
G
D
He could die happily ever after
G
Mama's in the factory, she ain't
Verse 15
D
got no shoes
G
I'm in the kitchen with the
Interlude 2
tombstone blues
G
D
Verse 16
D
Where Ma Rainey and Beethoven
G
once unwrapped their bedroll
D
Tuba players now rehearse
D
And the National Bank at a profit
G
D
sells road maps for the soul
Verse 17
D
Now, I wish I could write you a
G
D
melody so plain
That could hold you, dear lady,
D
That could ease you and
G
cool you and cease the pain
D
G
Of your useless and pointless
Verse 18
factory,
he's lookin' for food
G
I'm in the kitchen with the
Outro 1
tombstone blues, oh right
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