Tonart: D major
Intro 1
D
D
D
D
Verse 1
D
My show is a little bit silly
G
and a little bit pretentious
D
Like Shakespeare's willy
A
or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on
D
G
A
D
It's also a little bit gay
G
and a little bit offensive
A
or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap
D
G
A
Bridge 1
G
A
D
Bm
So put your cell phones to vibrate
G
A
D
And put your vibrators to cell phone mode
Verse 2
G
it goes a little bit like this, joke, exactly
D
A
Welcome to my flow it flows a little bit like this
D
With a rap a dist and a
Swift rap on the wrist a wrap and a kiss
G
Like Hershey's wrapping a kiss shit
A
I got a show that'll test ya kid
And then ask one question and the question is
Chorus 1
G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
Funny, fu-funny
D
Funny
G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
Verse 3
Funny, oh yeah
D
G
Bm
A
Humor is often linked to shared experience
D
Like a guy gets up an says
G
"Have you noticed that public restrooms have
Bm
A
really inefficient hand dryers?"
D
G
Bm
Oh my god, yes I have, ha ha ha
A
D
Really good point they should fix that
Bm
A
somebody finally gets me
D
Cause my wife divorced me
G
which has constantly forced me
Bm
A
to lose all sense of self
D
G
So it's nice to think about hand dryers
Bm
A
and not that cheating whore
D
Because stand up comedy is
G
Bm
A
actually pretty easy
D
G
If your an Asian comic just get up and say
Bm
"My mothers got the weirdest fucking accent"
A
D
G
Then just do a Chinese accent
Bm
Cause everybody laughs
D
Because they privately thought
G
that your people were laughable
A
And now you've given them the chance
Bridge 2
to express that in public
D
G
A
Oh yeah
D
G
If you're a musical comic
Bm
A
Just give 'em a little weird voice inflection
D
G
Then take a Viagra
A
and slap 'em with a rock hard misdirection
Chorus 2
G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
Funny, fu-funny
Tourettes!
D
Funny
G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
Funny, oh
When the audience says
Verse 4
D
G
When I was a baby, maybe I laughed
Bm
A
to people jiggling keys
D
G
Now I'm older and bolder and just get mad
Bm
A
cause I notice that the keys are to a hummer
D
G
Fuck my life I don't fuck my wife
Bm
A
So fuck my wife and fuck my life
D
G
And my son is gay, but not sitcom gay
Bm
Daughters a whore like like another girl
A
who used to be her mother
D
But the marriage made her
Bm
A
I wanna teen without screaming prima-donna
D
G
A
But the radical feminists made my wife a man
Bridge 3
D
G
Oh, and if I die happy the situation will be
A
autoerotic asphyxiation
D
G
A
I hate my life and it hates me back
Verse 5
G
Bm
But I don't know what to call him
A
D
G
A
So I just call him "What-up Jamaal"
Even though his name is Steve
D
I Hate my job I hate my life
G
Hate my kids, I hate my wife
Bm
Jews would know I do it
D
G
A
I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma
And I masturbate 'cause I'm the only one
who's standards are low enough to fuck me
Chorus 3
G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
Funny, fu-funny
It's a boy!
G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny?
Funny, yeah
D
A
D
Hopefully this
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