Tonart: Bb minor•
Verse 1
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[Chorus]
What a surpriser, Open your eyes,
A Woman advisor
Verse 2
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[Verse 1] The name
of this entertainement is
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'Women lose weight'
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Our first years of mariage
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everything was just great
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But after two kids And a weight gain factor
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The fact is Now she's com
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pletely unattractive
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Look fat chicks I don't
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mean to sound rude
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I tell her nice hit the gym
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And don't eat so much food
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But no Your shallow
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You need to run the course of
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uncon ditionnal love and so forth
Ebm
Bbm
But how if desire's is not there That's
Divorce is, child support,
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Bbm
My happiness I doubt discouraged
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Bbm
So hurry for an easier way out
of this marriage
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Meanwhile my secretary
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June well groomed
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When you gonna leave your wife I tell her
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soon mommy soon, I assume
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Or my des tiny is blue Interestingly The only
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Ebm
Gb
thing left for me to do is to kill her
Ab
[Chorus] What a surpriser, Open your
Verse 3
Gb
eyes,
Ebm
I'm gonna have to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Ebm
enforces divorces
Bbm
Send that ass right to the morgue miss
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Ab
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What a surpriser, Open your eyes,
Ebm
I'm gonna have to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Ebm
enforces divorces
Bbm
Send that ass right to the
morgue miss
Verse 4
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[Verse 2] My plans
against or shenanigans
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Knowin' nothing about poisoning
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Bad in tentions pumping
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Might as well become numb
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Cut her lungs or the obvious
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robbery gone wrong
But the catch is do I have the
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nerve to dispatch this
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Who can I get to help me
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murder this fat chick
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I guess I'll have to
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play a dude robbin
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On Wednesday The day she usually
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goes food shopping
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Anyway long story short hit the
Ab
side of her Chrysler
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And sent her clean over the divider
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"You bastard" she said
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As the wreck went tumblin down the hill
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I thought "she has to be dead"
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Later on get a call (from a) Lieutenant
O'Rourke
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(had me) leapin like a frog We
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need you at the morgue
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So I selfishly pursue
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"boohoo" there was nothing else for me
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Gb
to do I had to kill her
Ab
[Chorus] What a surpriser, Open your
Verse 5
Gb
eyes,
A Woman advisor
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I had to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
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enforces divorces
Bbm
Send that ass right to the
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morgue miss Kill her
Ab
Gb
What a surpriser Open your eyes,
Ebm
I had to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
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enforces divorces
Bbm
Send that ass right to the
Verse 6
morgue miss
Bbm
[Verse 3]
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Db
So you mean to tell me officer you don't have
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no clue who did this hit and run
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No sir we don't have no clues right now
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This is terrible what am I gonna tell
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Pull yourself together sir
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I'm so broken up in side
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I just can't believe this
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I understand, I understand
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Catch the person who did this
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We're gonna try sir Please
Ab
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Screamin "who done took my
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heart" acting shakin up a lot
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At the funeral though everyone was
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lookin at me odd like I did it
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Like I was the reason my mates
slain murmuring
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"I heard he was displeased with
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While my secretary sort of a sexy
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blonde can't cook
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All she does is order from restaurants
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All of the sex you want I
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doubt could address,
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Clothes not washed proper and
house look a mess and
Talkin to detectives that
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Ab
was waitin outside
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How I took a long lunch break
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I darn near turned pale
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And because of betrayal they indicted
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me, and gave me an im possible bail
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Good fortune to anyone ad
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miring the rawtent
Moral of the story is
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Desire is important
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So watch your weight It'll keep you mate
smitten it's a given
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Though looking back I realised I
didn't have to kill her
Ab
[Chorus] What a surpriser Open your
Verse 7
Gb
eyes,
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I didn't have to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
Ebm
enforces divorces
Bbm
Send that ass right to
I killed her
Ab
Gb
What a surpriser Open your eyes,
Ebm
I didn't have to kill her
Bbm
Of course there's laws which
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enforces divorces
Bbm
Send that ass right to the
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Well there you have it
Verse 8
Ab
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your mariage healthy Do you know what I mean?
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Small message from Morcheeba and
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Gb
Ab
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Slick Rick the ruler
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Peace
Outro 1
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Bbm
Gb
Db
Gb
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Ebm
Bbm
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Ebm
Bbm
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