Tonart: Ab major
Verse 1
Am
G
Sometimes amazing things occur
when you're mucking about
in the studio.
On the other hand,
this happened once
Am
when an ex -bandmate of mine popped in.
G
Bm
Stranded on a diamond mountain
D
A
G
staring into that peacock fountain.
Am
G
Oh sure, oh sure, that's how you write a song is it? What?
Hey who's coming into the studio?
What's happening?
F
G
I was recording in the building
and I followed the sound of awful music
until I found you.
Am
Well I can't believe
me eyes and ears.
G
That's right! It's me! S .E. Duction!
Your old partner in the boy band,
KSMASH!
Bm
Come on! I want to see
every single person!
D
Bm
Every single pair of hands!
Stop it! Stop it! What's going on?
There's not an audience
G
in here.
Yeah, you're right. Shut it off!
I do admire that you travel
C
G
with your own theme music.
Yeah, well I'm a pro you
bag of putrescence!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Am
since the tape happens to be rolling,
G
you know in everyone's life
there's a person
who every time you see them
F
they shake you to your very core?
G
Bm
Well Essie Duction does that for me.
G
Geez Essie, I haven't seen you in,
ah, since,
since three months ago
D
at the Bands Reunited taping.
Yeah well I rethought my posi
G
tion.
I want to get the band back together.
What? If you would have said
that three months ago
D
we would have been on telly.
G
Yeah well I only just got cable
so it wouldn't have made sense before.
We were happy, weren't we,
Alro?
D
G
We were happy as clams.
Until Alro went solo.
And even then he didn't have the gall
to support my marginally
successful solo career.
You may remember this one now.
This is a mash no to love letter.
Sharp as a dot and a medium cheddar.
No, no one remembers that.
It doesn't even make sense.
Yes it does.
Dollars and cents.
That song made 12 ,000 in royalties,
Am
accrued over a 17 -year period.
G
YOU DO THE MATHEMATICS!
I did, and it's not impressive.
Do you even remember
why Kasmash broke up?
Let's not put our fingers
into that pie.
Am
It was the summer, on the Isle of Wight,
away from our wives,
G
C
recording our album The Name
C
You see, if you put our names together,
Am
Aro and Asi, it makes Rose.
G
Anyway,
don't get the wrong idea, anyone.
We were on the aisle writing lyrics.
But certain lyrics weren't ready to
come out.
Certain lyrics push too hard.
Certain lyrics don't understand
having children
because their wives have constricted
fallopian tubes.
Certain lyrics would have broken
up the bond.
But then again, that's
what happened anyway.
It is a pity, innit,
what might have been.
D
G
Doodah! Please, go!
I shouldn't have done this.
I shouldn't have come in here
trying to be the bigger man.
D
The amendmaker, if you will.
Am
Oh, that way, if that gives
G
me an idea.
The amendmaker!
Love -taker!
Don't you mess around with I!
Wait, wait,
wait, that's just Pat Benatar.
Steal from the best.
Bm
You know, I can't stay mad at you.
Yeah,
it's your impish demeanour
that reminds me why I got into music
in the first place.
It's been too long since we,
you know, just jumped.
You know, maybe this is
the perfect time
Bm
to do one of those songs we
wrote on the Isle of Wight.
Could be.
Why don't we do it then?
Let's do it. Someone press play.
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