Albuquerque Original-Gitarrenakkorde von 
"Weird Al" Yankovic 
Tonart: F major•
Intro 1
F
Bb
F
Bb
Verse 1
F
Way back when I was just a
Bb
little bitty boy
F
Living in a box under the stairs
Bb
In the corner of the basement of the house
F
Half a block down the street
Bb
from Jerry's Bait shop
F
You know the place
Bb
F
Well anyway, back then life was going swell
Bb
F
and everything was just peachy!
Bb
F
Except, of course, for the undeniable fact,
Bb
that every single morning
F
Bb
My mother would make me a big ol' bowl
F
of sauerkraut for breakfast
Bb
Aww!
F
Big bowl of sauerkraut
Bb
F
Every single morning
Bb
It was driving me crazy
Verse 2
F
I said to my mom
Bb
I said "Hey, mom,
F
what's up with all the sauerkraut?"
Bb
And my dear, sweet mother
F
She just looked at me
Bb
like a cow looks at an oncoming train
F
Bb
And she leaned right down next to me
F
Bb
F
And she said "It's good for you!!"
Bb
F
And then she tied me to the wall
Bb
and stuck a funnel in my mouth
F
Bb
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut
Verse 3
F
Until I was twenty six and a half years old
Bb
F
That's when I swore that someday
Bb
Someday I would get outta that basement
F
Bb
and travel to a magical, far away place
F
Where the sun is always shining
Bb
and the air smells like warm root beer
F
Bb
And the towels are oh so fluffy
F
Where the Shriners and the lepers
Bb
play their ukuleles all day long
F
And anyone on the street will gladly
Bb
F
shave your back for a nickel
Bb
F
Wacka wacka doo-doo yeah
Verse 4
Well, let me tell you, people,
Bb
it wasn't long at all
F
before my dream came true
Bb
Because the very next day,
F
Bb
a local radio station had this contest
F
To see who could correctly guess the number
Bb
F
of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt
Bb
I was off by three,
F
but I still won the grand prize
Bb
F
Bb
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to
Chorus 1
F
Ebsus4
Bb/D
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albaquerque
F
Ebsus4
Bb/D
Db
F
A- a- a- Albaquerque
Bb
Oh yeah
Verse 5
F
You know, I've never been
Bb
on a real airplane before
F
Bb
And I gotta tell ya, it was really great
F
Except that I had to sit
Bb
between two large Albanian women
F
Bb
With excruciatingly severe body odor
F
And the little kid in back of me
Bb
kept throwin' up the whole time
F
Bb
The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper
F
and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was
Bb
F
Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah,
Bb
three of the airplane engines burned out
F
And we went into a tailspin
Bb
and crashed into a hillside
F
Bb
And the plane exploded in a giant fireball
F
everybody died
Bb
F
Except for me
Bb
You know why?
Chorus 2
F
Bb
'Cause I had my tray table up
F
Bb
And my seat back in the full upright position
F
Bb
Had my tray table up
F
Bb
And my seat back in the full upright position
F
Bb
Had my tray table up
F
Bb
And my seat back in the full upright position
F
Bb
Ah ha ha ha
F
Ah ha ha
Bb
Ah
Verse 6
F
So I crawled from the twisted,
Bb
burnin' wreckage
F
I crawled on my hands and knees
Bb
F
for three full days
Bb
F
Draggin' along my big leather suitcase
Bb
and my garment bag
F
And my tenor saxophone
Bb
and my twelve-pound bowling ball
F
And my lucky, lucky autographed
Bb
F
glow-in-the-dark snorkel
Bb
F
But finally I arrived at the world famous
Bb
F
Albuquerque Holiday Inn
Bb
Where the towels are oh so fluffy
F
And you can eat your soup
Bb
right out of the ash trays if you wanna
F
Bb
It's OK, they're clean
F
Well, I checked into my room
Bb
and I turned down the A C
F
And I turned on the SpectraVision
Bb
And I'm just about to eat
F
that little chocolate mint on my pillow
Bb
That I love so very, very much
Verse 7
F
Bb
When suddenly, there's a knock on the door
F
Bb
Well now, who could that be?
F
I say "Who is it?"
Bb
No an swer
F
"Who is it?"
Bb
There's no an swer
F
"Who is it?"
Bb
They're not sayin' anything
F
Bb
So, finally I go over and I open the door
F
and just as I suspected
Bb
F
It's some big fat hermaphrodite
Bb
with a Flock-Of-Seagulls haircut
F
and only one nostril
Bb
F
Oh man, I hate it when I'm right
Bb
F
So anyway, he bursts into my room
Bb
and he grabs my lucky snorkel
F
Bb
And I'm like "Hey, you can't have that"
F
Bb
"That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me"
F
And he's like "Tough"
Bb
And I'm like "Give it"
F
And he's like "Make me"
Bb
And I'm like "'Kay"
F
So I grabbed his leg
Bb
and he grabbed my esophagus
F
And I bit off his ear
Bb
and he chewed off my eyebrows
F
And I took out his appendix
Bb
and he gave me a colonic irri
Verse 8
F
(gation)
Bb
Yes indeed, you better believe it
F
And somehow in the middle of it all,
Bb
F
the phone got knocked off the hook
Bb
And twenty seconds later,
F
I heard a familiar voice
Bb
And you know what it said?
F
Bb
I'll tell you what it said
It said
Chorus 3
F
Bb
"If you'd like to make a call,
F
please hang up and try again"
Bb
F
"If you need help, hang up
Bb
F
Bb
and then dial your opera tor"
F
Bb
"If you'd like to make a call,
F
Bb
please hang up and try again"
F
Bb
"If you need help, hang up
F
Bb
and then dial your opera tor"
F
Ebsus4
Bb/D
Db
F
Bb
In A- a- a- Albuquerque
F
Ebsus4
Bb/D
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albuquerque
Verse 9
F
Well, to cut a long story short,
Bb
F
he got away with my snorkel
Bb
But I made a solemn vow right then and there
F
that I would not rest
Bb
F
I would not sleep for an instant until
Bb
the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice
F
Bb
But first, I decided to buy some donuts
F
So I got in my car and I drove
Bb
over to the donuts shop
F
And I walked on up
Bb
to the guy behind the counter
And he says
F
Bb
"Yeah, what do ya want?"
F
Bb
Verse 10
F
I said "You got any glazed donuts?"
Bb
F
Bb
He said "No, we're outta glazed donuts"
F
Bb
I said "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
F
Bb
He said "No, we're outta jelly donuts"
F
I said "You got any
Bb
Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
F
He said "No, we're outta
Bb
Bavarian cream-filled donuts"
F
Bb
I said "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
F
Bb
He said "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls"
F
Bb
I said "You got any apple fritters?"
F
Bb
He said "No, we're outta apple fritters"
F
Bb
I said "You got any bear claws?"
Solo 1
He said "Wait a minute, I'll go check"
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
"No, we're outta bear claws"
Verse 11
F
Bb
I said "Well, in that case,
F
Bb
in that case, what do you have?"
F
Bb
He says "All I got right now is this box
F
Bb
of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"
F
Bb
I said "OK, I'll take that"
F
So he hands me the box
Bb
and I open up the lid
F
and the weasels jump out
Bb
And they immediately latch onto my face
Verse 12
F
Bb
And start bitin' me all over
F
Bb
Oh man, they were just going nuts
F
Bb
They were tearin' me apart
F
You know, I think it was just about that time
Bb
That a little ditty started
F
goin' through my head
Bb
I believe it went
F
Bb
a little something like this
F
Doh
Bb
Get 'em off me
Get 'em off me
Oh
F
Bb
No, get 'em off, get 'em off
F
Bb
Oh, oh God, oh God Oh, get 'em off me
F
Oh, oh God
Bb
Ah, aah, aah
Verse 13
F
Bb
I ran out into the street with these
F
flesh-eating weasels all over my face
Bb
Wavin' my arms all around
F
and just runnin', runnin', runnin'
Bb
F
Like a constipated wiener dog
Bb
And as luck would have it
F
That's exactly when I ran
Bb
into the girl of my dreams
F
Bb
Her name was Zelda
F
Bb
She was a calligraphy enthusiast
With a slight overbite and
F
Bb
hair the color of strained peaches
F
I'll never forget the very first
Bb
thing she said to me
F
She said "Hey,
Bb
you've got weasels on your face"
F
Bb
That's when I knew it was true love
F
Bb
We were inseparable after that
F
Bb
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together
F
We even shared the same piece
Bb
of mint-flavored dental floss
F
Bb
The world was our burrito
F
Bb
So we got married and we bought us a house
F
And had two beautiful children,
Bb
Nathaniel and Superfly
F
Bb
Oh, we were so very very
F
Bb
very happy, aw yeah
Verse 14
F
But then one fateful night,
Bb
Zelda said to me
F
Bb
She said "Sweetie pumpkin?
F
Do you wanna join
Bb
the Columbia Record Club?"
F
Bb
F
Bb
I said "Whoa, hold on now, baby"
F
"I'm just not ready
Bb
for that kind of a commitment"
F
Bb
So we broke up and I never saw her again
F
Bb
But that's just the way things go
Chorus 4
F
Ebsus4
Bb/D
Db
F
Bb
In A- a- a- Albuquerque
F
Ebsus4
Bb/D
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albuquerque
Solo 2
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
Verse 15
F
Anyway, things really
Bb
started lookin' up for me
F
Because about a week later,
Bb
F
I finally achieved my lifelong dream
Bb
That's right, I got me
F
Bb
a part-time job at The Sizzler
F
I even made employee of the month after
Bb
F
I put out that grease fire out with my face
Bb
Aw yeah, everybody was pretty
F
jealous of me after that
Bb
I was gettin' a lot of attitude
F
Ok, like one time,
Bb
I was out in the parking lot
F
Tryin' to remove my excess
Bb
earwax with a golf pencil
F
When I see this guy Marty
Bb
F
Tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa
Bb
up the stairs all by himself
F
So I, I say to him, I say
Bb
"Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
F
Bb
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
F
Bb
"No, I want you to cut off my arms
F
Bb
and legs with a chainsaw"
Verse 16
So I did
F
Bb
And then he gets all indignant on me
F
Bb
He's like "Hey man, I was just being sarcastic"
F
Well, that's just great
Bb
How was I supposed to know that?
F
Bb
I'm not a mind reader for cryin' out loud
F
Bb
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname,
F
Torso-Boy
Bb
So what's he complaining about?
F
Say, that reminds me
Bb
of another amusing anecdote
F
Bb
This guy comes up to me on the street
F
Bb
And he tells he hasn't had a bite in three days
F
Well, I knew what he meant
Bb
But just to be funny,
F
Bb
I took a big bite out of his jugular vein
F
And he's yellin' and screamin'
Bb
and bleeding all over
F
Bb
And I'm like "Hey, come on, don't you get it?"
F
But he just keeps rolling around
Bb
on the sidewalk, bleeding, and screaming
F
Bb
Verse 17
F
You know, completely missing
Bb
the irony of the whole situation
F
Bb
Man, some people just can't take a joke,
you know?
F
Bb
F
Bb
Anyway, where was I?
F
Bb
Kinda lost my train of thought
F
Bb
Uh, well, uh, OK
F
Anyway I, know it's kinda been
Bb
a roundabout way of saying it
F
But I guess the whole point
Bb
I'm tryin' to make here is
F
Bb
F
I hate sauerkraut
Bb
That's all I'm really tryin' to say
F
And, by the way, if one day
Bb
you happen to wake up
F
Bb
And find yourself in an existential quandary
F
Full of loathing and self-doubt
Bb
And wracked with the pain and isolation
F
Bb
of your pitiful meaningless existence
F
At least you can take
Bb
a small bit of comfort in knowing that
F
Bb
Somewhere out there in this crazy
F
ol' mixed-up universe of ours
Bb
F
Bb
There's still a little place called
Chorus 5
F
Ebsus4
Bb/D
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albuquerque
F
Ebsus4
Bb/D
Db
F
Bb
A- a- a- Albuquerque
F
Bb
Albaquerque, Albaquerque,
F
Bb
Albaquerque, Albaquerque,
F
Bb
Albaquerque, Albaquerque,
F
Bb
Albaquerque, Albaquerque
Bridge 1
F
Bb
F
Bb
I said "A" (A) "L" (L) "B" (B) "U" (U)
F
Bb
F
Bb
"Querque" (querque)
Outro 1
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
Bb
F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque
Bb
F
Albu- querque
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