Tonart: D major•
Intro 1
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Verse 1
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On April Fool's Day morn
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We two are close sometimes I think
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Because I was breech- born
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The doctor reached inside of her
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He turned me 'round and pulled me out
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I emerged her bloody babe
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His slap produced my shout
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Verse 2
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At twelve midnight I telephoned
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On April Fool's Day morn
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I told mom I'd be home late
Then I hung up the horn
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I went back to the party then
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I got drunk with all the boys
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Our florid faces shown
Interlude 1
We made a lot of noise
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Verse 3
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By 2am we all were drunk
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On April Fool's Day morn
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We had insulted many folk
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Garnered plenty scorn
We boys,
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some girls and some hangers- on
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Formed a jolly caravan
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We headed for my canyon home
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To make our fool's day stand
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Verse 4
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Tempers flared and tears were shed
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On April Fool's Day morn
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Tequila ripped and on a tear
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My party shirt got torn
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I tried to take a woman down
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Right there on the bathroom floor
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She refused, I threw her out
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Screaming, "Bitch!" and "Whore!"
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I threatened one poor hanger- on
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With a knife he was warned
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By 5 a.m. just three were left
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On April Fool's Day morn
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An English fool, an Irish fool
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And me, their foolish Yankee host
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We kissed and cried and
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And drank one final toast
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Verse 5
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By 6 a.m., those two passed out
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On April Fool's Day morn
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I drove to Santa Monica
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A girl there got me warm
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By 10 a.m., I drove back home
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I rousted out my half- dead friends
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We said goodbye with downcast eyes
Interlude 2
So sheepish in the end
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Verse 6
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My mother came out of her room
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On April Fool's Day morn
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She spied her sorry breech- born
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Hungover and forlorn
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I am too old, too large, too close
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To crawl up on my mother's knee
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So eggs and bacon, coffee,
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toast
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Were placed in front of me
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