Tonart: E minor•
Intro 1
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Verse 1
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Strap them kids in, give 'em
a lil bit of vodka
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In a cherry Coke, we're goin to Oklahoma
A
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To the family reunion
for the first time in years
It's up at uncle Slaton's
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'cause he's getting on in years
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You know he no longer travels
but he's still pretty spry
He's not much on talk
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and he's just too mean to die
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And they'll be comin' down from Kansas
and from West Arkansas
It'll be one great big old party
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like you've never saw
Solo 1
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Verse 2
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Uncle Slaton's got his Texan pride
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Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
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Got an airstream trailer and a Holstein cow
Still makes whiskey
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'cause he still knows how
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He plays that Choctaw Bingo
every Friday night
You know he had to leave Texas
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but he won't say why
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He owns a quarter section
up by Lake Eufaula
Caught a great big ol' Bluecat
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on a driftin' jugline
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Sells his hardwood timber to the chippin' mill
Cooks that crystal meth
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because his shine don't sell
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He cooks that crystal meth
because his 'shine don't sell
You know he likes that money
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he don't mind the smell
Solo 2
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Verse 3
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My cousin Roscoe, Slaton's oldest boy
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From his second marriage up in Illinois
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He's raised in east St. Louis
by his mamma's people
Where they do things different,
G
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thought he'd just come on down
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He's goin' to Dallas, Texas in a semi truck
Caught from that big McDonald's
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You know that one that's built up on that
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Great big old bridge
across the Will Rogers turnpike
Took the big cabin exit, stopped
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and bought a carton of cigarettes
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At that Indian smoke shop
with the big neon smoke rings
In the Cherokee nation
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hit Muskohgee late that night
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Somebody ran the stoplight
at the Shawnee Bypass
Roscoe tried to miss 'em
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but he didn't quite
Solo 3
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Verse 4
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Bob and Mae come up from
Some little town way down by
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Lake Texoma, where he coaches football
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They were two-A champions now
for two years running
But he says they won't be this year
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No, they won't be this year
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And he stopped off in Tushka
at the pop knife and gun place
Bought a SKS rifle and
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a couple full cases of that steel core ammo
With the Berdan primers
from some East bloc nation
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That no longer needs 'em
that's one great big old pistol
I mean
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fifty caliber made by bad-ass Hebrews
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And some surplus tracers for that old BAR
Of Slaton's as soon as it gets dark
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we're gonna have us a time
Solo 4
We're gonna
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(have us a time)
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Verse 5
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Ruth-Anne and Lynn come down
from Baxter Springs
And that's one hell-raisin' town
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Way up in Southeastern Kansas
next to the lingerie store
That's got the Rollin' Stones' lips
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Up there in bright pink neon
Em
And they're right downtown
where everyone can see 'em
And they burn all night
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You know they burn all night
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You know they burn all night
Solo 5
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Verse 6
they wear them cut-off britches
And then skinny little halters
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and they're second cousins to me
I wanna get between them
With a great big 'ol hard-on
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Like an ol' Bodark fencepost
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You could hang a pipe rail gate from
Do some sister twisters
till the cows come home
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And we'll be having us a time
Solo 6
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Verse 7
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Uncle Slaton's got his Texan pride
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Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
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He's cut that corner pasture into acre lots
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He sells 'em owner financed strictly to them
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It's got no kind of credit
'cause he knows they're slackers
And they'll miss that payment
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and then he takes it back
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He plays that Choctaw Bingo
every Friday night
He drinks his Johnny Walker
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at that club 69
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We're gonna strap them kids in
give 'em a lil' bit of Benadryl
In a cherry Coke
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we're goin to Oklahoma
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Gonna have us a time
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Gonna have us a time
Outro 1
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[Repeat and fade]
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