Tonart: Ab major•
Verse 1
Ab
Well, I'll tell you what,
I like shopping on Christmas for the kids.
Ab
But let me tell you something.
Avoid these words on Christmas.
Easy to assemble.
Easy to assemble.
You know, that's an old Indian phrase
that stands for four hours,
37 F -words, and call an electrician.
Good Lord!
Don't nothing come
assembled no more.
Here I sit one day after
Christmas
with four bleeding cuts,
a bent screwdriver,
driver and indentions
from sitting on a package of
Phillips head screws
Gb
an d I'm closer to nailing
Ab
Shania Twain
Gb
than I am to putting together this
Ab
damn two -wheel Christmas scooter.
The feller at the store says,
oh it's easy,
ten minutes at the most
you're gonna have it finished.
Well that's what I get
Db
for listening to the retard that hired
Ab
to help out down there at the
toy store
on Christmas Eve.
You gotta have a dag -gum degree
from the Ivy League
to figure this garbage out.
Whatever happened to insert screw A into hole B,
the way God intended it,
like it says in the scriptures.
E
Nowadays you got to measure,
Ab
drill, sand, glue, weed whack,
and who the hell knows what else
with these kids' toys.
If I wasn't such a good Christian,
I'd have took them
scooter wheels
and went back there to the toy store
and shoved them so far up
that salesman's hind end
he'd have skid marks on his liver.
Try and do something nice
for the kids at Christmas.
Buy him a nice Jesus birthday scooter,
and now the daggum thing won't roll,
cause the sorry toy
Gb
store retard
Ab
thought I could assemble it myself. I
was gonna buy the floor model,
but no, I gotta be Cap Moron,
be the guy on the TV show This Old House,
and screw it up sending another Christmas
straight into the crappers.
Easy to assemble.
Buy a humbug.
Merry Christmas.
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TunerE A D G B E
Akkorde & SongtexteAb Db Gb E Fm
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